A Trio of Very Disturbed Humor
by CrimsonThreadOfFate
Summary: The Marauders are in their seventh year in Hogwarts and with it comes the surprise of meeting three very unusual girls. Witty comebacks, sarcastic comments and very disturbed souls, can The Marauders handle this mess? SiriusOC RemusOC JamesLily.
1. Meeting The Three

**Me: Soooooooo... Yeah this is my first HP fic, so I am kinda nervous...**

**Valkyrie Missile: What do you mean fucking _yours_?! Don't you mean _ours_?!**

**Me: Oh yeah~! It _is_ co-authored by Valkyrie Missile (let's just call her VM for my finger's sake) here... also known as the creator of one of these OCs *points below* Yup! Be proud VM! You're a God-damned mother!**

**VM: YOU FREAKING BITCH! * proceeds to strangle dear co-authoress***

**Me: SHIT! JAMES! SAVE ME FROM THE PSYCHO MIDGET!!!! *runs from aforementioned psycho midget***

**VM: WHO YOU CALLIN' A FUCKING MIDGET?!*runs after Hani-senpai* **

**Remus: Ahem! Since those two are busy *a loud crash sounds followed by a cry of 'HOLY MOTHER-FUCKING SHIT!!!'* The Marauders and I would just like to warn you all that this is Rated T for a reason...**

**Sirius: And for the Great Sirius Orion Black to do a very awesome Disclaimer. So, yeah, you know the drift, they no own anything or something...**

**Everybody: *face-palm***

* * *

King's Cross station's Platform 9¾ was now packed with young wizards and witches saying their goodbyes to their family. The first years' were teary and full of emotion, while the rest of Hogwarts' students just jumped into the Hogwarts' Express—anxious to start, and end the year.

Within the jostling crowd stood the four very famous boys of Hogwarts, also known as The Marauders

"Moony! Stop being so damn moody! You're ruining our last year at Hogwarts!" shouted a frustrated, black-haired boy.

"Padfoot. For one, it's nearly the full moon so I can't stop being like this, and two, we're not even _in _Hogwarts' yet!" Another boy said, this time with sandy brown hair.

"I know that! It's just that—that-that- Aughhhhhhhhh! Prongs, help me out here!"

"He's right, mate." A third person joined in. "The train ride is part of the fun…especially since it's the golden opportunity to prank our dear old Snivellus." He finished with a grin.

Sirius Black grinned along with his best friend his dilemma long forgotten. "Right you are old chap, it will be the first ever prank we play on him for the whole year. If you ask me, it will - no it _should _- be quite memorable."

Remus Lupin rolled his eyes. Honestly, seven years of being friends with these people and he's _still _not used to them. "James, aren't you Head Boy now? Shouldn't you cut down a bit on your pranks?" he asked hopefully.

Sirius and James adopted a look of horror.

James was devastated—or at least looked like he was. "Why Moony! How could you have even thought of that?! Pranking is like my breath, I can never survive without it!" finished dramatically.

"Even if the new Head Girl is probably Lily Evans?" Remus tried again.

James immediately froze. Yes, Remus does have a point. Maybe if he cut his pranking for just a _wee_ bit, his Lily-pad can give him a chance. He grinned dreamily just by the thought of it.

Sirius sighed dramatically. "Great job, Moony, now we lost him! His probably in his 'Lily Dream world' right about now." He waved a hand over James' face to emphasize his point.

Not for the first time that day, Remus rolled his eyes.

"U-um…guys?" Peter said, catching the attention of two of The Marauders, the other still had the goofy, dreamy smile on his face. "I-I think w-we better g-get on board, the t-train's about to l-leave."

That snapped James out of his daydream, for he hurriedly grabbed his trunk and made a sprint toward the train. He turned his head back to his friends and yelled, "Better hurry up mates! There's no way I, your wondrous and not to mention gorgeous Head Boy, will ever wait for common unworthy students such as yourselves!"

The other boys quickly reached for their own trunks and ran to the direction their friend, all the while with Sirius yelling, "YOU SHOULDN'T GET YOUR HOPES UP PRONGS! YOU KNOW YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO TOP THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE!"

"Try 'Man-Whore'…" Remus muttered under his breath.

They made to the train with three minutes to spare with James and Sirius cackling, Remus frustrated and Peter tagging along.

Of course, being this late in the train meant _every freakin' _compartment was full.

"Bloody Hell! How hard is it to find just one compartment?!" Sirius shouted.

His friends just sighed in frustration and continued walking down the corridor. Just before the human time bomb, A.K.A. Sirius, exploded—and with it a lot of rather colorful curses—The Marauders finally found a compartment at the very back of the train with only three inhabitants in it.

Remus opened the door wide enough so that both James and Sirius can see, Peter was just at their backs.

The sight that greeted the three boys shocked them still.

The people inside the compartment were all girls; at least that's what they guessed. It's really hard to tell when they were all sleeping and in very uncomfortable positions (NOT WHAT YOU THINK!).

What seems to be a blonde first year (hey, she was barely four feet two, might as well be a seven year old kid) was laying her head on the rightmost side of the lap of a black-haired girl and had her legs crammed against the wall. The aforementioned dark-haired girl was slouched with her forehead almost touching her left knee. The last of the girls had wavy, dark-brown hair that barely reached her shoulders, and was sitting up straight, her head leaning on the back of the seat.

"Eeeer, I think we should just probably sit down." James whispered, although loud enough for the others to hear.

The boys looked back at the snoozing females. None of them showed any signs of waking, so they followed James' advice and settled themselves in.

Just as they sat down, the train began to move…causing the black haired girl to tumble on the floor bringing the first year with her.

"WHAT THE-?! SHIIIIT, THAT FREAKIN HURTS!!"

"Oh, you think that hurts?! TRY BEING THE ONE THAT'S BEING FUCKING SQUISHED ON THE DAMN FLOOR, WOULD'CHA?! ...and speaking of which, GET YOUR DAMN ASS OFF OF ME, BITCH!" complained the blonde.

"Whatever you say, bastard."

As she heaved herself up, the boys stared at the scene with wide eyes. Never had they heard a girl, let alone _two_, curse that much. Now that both girls were standing, they can see that the black-haired girl had her hair up in high pony-tail which reaches her elbows, while the other one had it in a tight braid that ended a little past her waist. All three were wearing Muggle clothing.

It seems that the girls still haven't noticed they were there, so Sirius coughed loudly enough. As expected, two heads snapped at their direction.

"Someone tell me who the fuck this is," said the blonde, pointing at Sirius, "before I blow his brains out."

Much to Sirius' and the Marauders' surprise, the black-haired girl didn't say anything. Instead, she turned to the girl beside her, and slapped her awake.

"Okay, fine, don't answer…" muttered the blonde. She then turned her attention to the Marauders. "Who the fuck are you?! And what are you doing in our compartment?!"

"'Yo, Ed," said the girl who woke up last, stretching her arms and yawning. "Shut your trap, we're in present company, and you're being rude."

Surprisingly, the blonde _did_ listen, and sat down, crossed her arms and didn't look in the Marauders' direction.

Remus cleared his throat. "So, er, nice to meet you too."

The third girl turned her head in his direction and suddenly smiled brightly.

'_Bloody hell, does she have multiple personalities?'_ Thought the Marauders.

"It's nice to meet you, but I think we better have an introduction first. My name's Alyssandra Malvyne. Seventh year, Gryffindor."

"Hey. My name's Aquila Crux. Just call me Aqua, or die." Her eyes glinted a bit, and Remus immediately knew he'd_ better_ call her Aqua.

The Marauders waited for about three minutes for the blonde to introduce herself, when Aqua slammed her fist on the top of the blonde's head.

"OW, YOU… What was that for?!" The blonde rubbed her head.

"Say your goddamn _name_," Aqua hissed.

The blonde glared at her, and grumbled. "Fine, fine. Ed Rochford, Seventh Year, Gryffindor. There. Happy?"

"Good Doggy."

An awkward silence fell over them. And then…

"Holy shit, you're in Seventh Year?!" Sirius could hardly contain himself.

Twitch.

"I thought you were in First Year!"

Twitch, twitch.

"I guess that's because you're so bloody _short,_" Sirius said, laughing, and slapping his knee.

Twitch, twitch, twi—SNAP.

"Hey Aly, did you hear something?"

"…I believe that was Ed's patience… Snapping."

They turned their gazes back in time just to see Ed strangling Sirius.

Ed was mad. Scratch that, Ed was _furious._

Ed didn't like the 'S' word.

Ed was currently choking Sirius, who was rapidly turning a bright shade of purple.

"Did you just call me a bean-sprout? Because, I _swear_, you just _did_."

Aqua sighed. Really, this happens _every fucking time_ some stranger said the word 'short' and 'Ed' in the same sentence.

Deciding to be the peacemaker, Aqua shouted, "Hey bastard! Get your hands off your next victim!"

"We're losing space to hide the bodies!" Aly added quickly.

Sirius was, however, fortunate that although Ed didn't stop choking him, Aly and Aqua were able to restrain her.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKING BASTARD, JUST WAIT 'TILL I SQUEEZE THE LIFE OUT OF YOU!"

"BRING IT ON, BITCH!" Sirius had just about enough, although it _was_ starting to get pretty interesting.

"IT'S BASTARD, NOT BITCH!" Ed shouted.

"Yeah! I'm the bitch here!" joined in Aqua.

"WHO THE HELL INVITED YOU TO THIS… _SHOUT-FEST_?!!" Both Sirius and Ed spat out at her.

"GUYS, GUYS.'YO. PLEASE. KEEP IT DOWN." Aly said, louder than the two put together.

"Yes, mommy," said Aqua, while Ed just grumbled 'fine' and went back to her seat, pulling her knees close to her chest.

Yet another awkward silence ensued. This time it was broken by the compartment door suddenly opening.

"Guys?" Lily Evans said, her attention on the girls.

"Yeah?" they asked in unison.

"Have you heard who the new Head Boy is? I'm the new Head Girl and I'm completely clueless."

All the girls just shook their heads causing Lily to sigh in frustration.

Suddenly, James appeared right in front of Lily.

"What do you want, Potter?"

"If you're searching for the new Head Boy then you're looking at him."

"Very funny, Potter. You could never be Head Boy," Lily said.

"Oh yeah?" James pointed to the shiny new badge he had received during the summer. "Really, Lily, you really must have more faith in me than that."

Lily Evans was taken aback by the plain evidence of Potter being the new Head Boy. She narrowed her eyes. "Is this a joke, Potter!? Because it's not funny."

"Nope. I'm the Head Boy this year, and you better believe it pretty quick, 'cause I think we're late for the Prefects' meeting." He gave her a wink.

Lily's jaw dropped. "What the-?! Has Dumbledore gone completely mental assigning _you_, of all _people_ as **Head Boy**?!"

James looked hurt. "Aw, Lily-kins, that's so mean."

Lily turned on her heel, running like mad. James was, for sure, hot on her heels.

"Wait, Lily-kins! I'm going to be late too! Let's go to the meeting _together~_!"

"LEAVE ME ALONE, POTTER!!" The fighting between the two didn't end, however, their voices faded as they disappeared down the hall.

"Is that normal?" asked Aqua.

"Yes, that's _bloody_ normal...." muttered Remus.

"James," said Sirius, shaking his head. "He's completely hopeless."

"Pffft, hopeless is an understatement," muttered Ed.

This made Sirius stare at Ed. She was, pretty much, unlike any other girl he met. He thought she was utterly crazy—and she was wearing Muggle clothes, too—though by the looks of it, Muggle clothes for _boys._

Which, made sense, because she acted so much like a _boy._ The attitude, the language, heck, everything was boyish—was manly enough to top off and _question_ Sirius' own manliness—which he had every right to express because he was a boy. A _man._ So, he couldn't help but want to stick a hex in her pretty face, because she was a _threat_, not only to him, but to the Marauders too, and all men in general, for fear of losing their _masculinity_.

While Sirius was coming to this conclusion about Ed, Remus was very curious about Aqua. She has these moments when she's shy and quiet and then she suddenly becomes brave and loud, two things extremely opposite. Yes, she certainly caught Remus' attention...

"What are you _staring_ at, Black?" Ed spat, finally noticing Sirius' gaze.

Sirius blinked. "How do you know my name?"

"Wait a minute…" Aqua said. "Black… I've heard that name before."

Sirius blinked again, and then grinned. "But of course," he said. "Who could not recognize the natural, wily charms of the great Sirius Black?"

"They're thebloody _Marauders,_ Aqua," Ed said, impatiently. "Potter, a big-headed _idiot_, Black, the pompous _bastard_, Lupin, the self-conscious, goody-two shoes, _know-it-all_, and Pettigrew, the non-existent, cowardly _low-life._"

"Marauders?" Aly raised her eyebrow. "Oh, _them._ I didn't recognize."

"Neither did I," said Ed. "At first," she added.

"I didn't know," said Aqua.

Ed rolled her eyes at Aqua. "It doesn't matter, you shouldn't even care," she said.

Sirius felt like he just got bitch-slapped, and big time.

Never before had he heard a girl say that about him-- it was always about how the room lit up whenever he came around, and how handsome he was. How every girl drooled over him and how he was so charmingly irresistible. But never, _ever, _anything like this.

"U-um, I-I have t-to go to t-the l-loo." said Peter suddenly.

Remus was still in shock after what Ed had said. Sure he was always worried on how not to harm others because of his 'furry little problem', but is that such a bad thing? Is being self-conscious supposed to be a problem? Maybe, he should fix that attitude problem…

"Well, better being humble than being a cocky bastard," Aqua said, snapping him out of his daze to see her avoiding eye contact with him.

Ed glared at Remus for a split-second, seemingly about to retort, but decided against it, looking out the window instead.

Meanwhile, Sirius' ego was bruised, and bad. It was in neck-deep shit, as far as he could tell.

"Anybody knows what time it is?' asked Aly, breaking a soon-to-be uncomfortable silence.

Ed reached for her pocket and got out a silver pocket watch.

"It's 11:43 am." She said.

She was still holding the pocket watch when she saw Aqua staring at her - or more specifically, her watch - with wide eyes.

"Is that…no, it couldn't be…but it is! It's THE silver pocket watch!" Aqua then proceeded with grabbing said watch from Ed's hand and bouncing up and down on her seat like a little girl.

"Remus, Remus, Remus!" The said boy turned his attention to the hyper-active girl. "Ask me what time it is!"

"But didn't Ed already mention it?" he said.

"Doesn't matter! Just ask it!" she replied still gleeful.

"Okay…What time is it?"

Aqua opened the top of the watch and said "11:44 am!" She closed the top and asked, with an all too cheerful tone, "Now ask me again."

Ed and Aly then proceeded to whack her upside the head.

"That, I believe is _mine,_" snarled Ed, snatching the watch from Aqua.

"But-but it's THE pocket watch!" Aqua whined.

"Yes, I believe you mentioned that the first time." said Aly.

"Made my ears bleed too." muttered Ed.

Remus and Sirius watched with amusement. Bloody hell, they lived and breathed sarcasm—and violence, in Ed's case.

The compartment door opened again and five heads snapped to the intruder.

Lucius Malfoy.  
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**Me: Yes!!! We survived _one_ chapter! Me so happy.**

**VM: The fuck? Are you high?**

**Me: Maybe...**

**VM: High on WHAT?!**

**Me: *quickly hides a plushie of Kanda Yuu from D. Gray -Man* You will never know...**

**VM: Aughhh! I give up! ANYWAY! So, you people who like anime may have noticed that Ed is like, well, Ed Elric from FullMetal Alchemist. I have a very important reason for that, Ed Elric is an awesome character and deserves to be femenized(this even a word?).**

**Me: ****_Anyway~_! I am getting sleepy so let us end this thing! **

**VM: Review!**


	2. Broad Way Shows In The Hallway

**Me: Sooooooooooooooooooooo...**

**VM: Sooooooooooooooooooooo...?**

**Me: *inhales deeply* IT'S THE SECOND FREAKING CHAPTER!!!**

**VM: YES IT IS! **

**Me: It's just kinda sad that _no one_ reviewed. And yes I am talking to you people who actually reads this crap.**

**VM: CAN YOU PLEASE STOP EMOTING AND GO ON WITH THE GOD-DAMNED FIC?!**

**Me: *sulks in a corner* I can't _stop_ emoting! That just would not be the essence of me! But Remus here will gladly do the disclaimer. *shoves Remus at the Center Stage***

**Remus: *fidgets* Uhh... Hani-senpai wants to proclaim that even though she worships Hp, she will never own it.**

**Sirius: Now on with the fic!**

**Ed: FINALLY!**

**Everyone: Shhhhhhhhhhhh!**

**Ed: WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?! Oh, never mind...**  
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"If that GODDAMN door opens one more _fucking_ time, I will fucking **mutilate** _someone_." Ed's glare landed on Sirius at the last word, the malice unwavering in her voice.

Sirius gulped.

Lucius Malfoy regarded her with a disgusted look. "A _mudblood_?" He asked, incredulously. "I figured you'd both stoop so low as to hang out with those kinds," he said, turning his gaze at the two remaining Marauders.

"Shouldn't you go snogging my cousin, all the while cheating on my _other_ cousin?" Sirius growled.

Lucius sighed dramatically. "I thought you'd understand, Black. You're a playboy too. And besides, they're better than Mudblood midget here. Really Black--"

Where was I again? Oh, right. _**SNAP**_.

"**GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BEFORE I FUCKING SHOVE A POLE UP YOUR ASS!**" Ed fumed.

"As if he didn't have one up his ass in the first place," muttered Aly.

"And why should I take orders from you… Mudblood?" He demanded, taking time to emphasize the word '_Mudblood_' by practically spitting it out. He still stood outside the door, as if afraid to be infested with _Mudblood_ virus. Isn't it funny how he likes that word a little bit _too_ much? Seriously, it's like his freaking mantra or something.

Ed didn't want to hear another pathetic comeback from him again, so she stood up from her spot by the window and slammed the door in his face. Shock registered across his features—easily recognizable traits that all Malfoys carried.

"Yup, I think you broke his nose," Sirius chimed in cheerily.

"Boy, he's like a bitch PMSing, ain't he?" Aqua asked, to no one in particular.

Everyone burst out laughing.

Lucius slammed a fist against the door, pointing and shouting at Ed, although no one could hear what he was saying. It was quite clear though, that it was a threat—somewhere along the lines of, "This isn't over, Mudblood!" or "I won't forgive you for this!" or even "THIS… IS MADNESS! THIS… IS SPARTA!" Wait, scratch the last part, Malfoy's not _that_ creative enough, what with the non-existent brain of his…

Ed kicked the door hard, causing Lucius to fall backwards and land on his butt. The compartment roared with laughter once again as Ed folded her arms and grinned triumphantly at Lucius, who picked himself up. He shook a finger in Ed's direction and ran off.

"**That's right! Run off,**_** bitch!**_" she shouted after him.

"Ed: 1, Lucius: 0," Aly declared, all the while laughing. "Man, he's so going to get it, and _bad._"

"That's what happens when you mess with the Midget of Hell," Aqua said as an afterthought, while Remus grinned at her statement.

Really_,_ that was the _third_ time, and Ed wouldn't and couldn't take anymore.

Needless to say, the rest of the train ride was spent with Aly trying to restrain Ed from strangling Aqua.  
_________________________________________________________________________________

The trio and the Mauraders separated as they got off the train and entered Hogwarts in the carriages, proved long enough for the Marauders to be acquainted with the trio. Ed had no intention of keeping them, Aly and Aqua concluded, what with Ed muttering all the while about "fucking idiotic Marauders".

Aqua's ice colored eyes scanned the Great Hall. She looked up at the enchanted ceiling, a perfect imitation of the cloudy night skies of good old English weather and couldn't help marvel. She always did love watching the sky, whether to cloud gaze or simply be awe-stricken by its beauty.

She got snapped back to reality by the huge double-doors of the Great Hall opening and a line of nervous looking first years entered.

The Sorting Hat then began its song.

The three girls were reminiscing about the time way back when, the time when _they_ were the ones who were going up that platform, wondering what House they will be sorted in.

Aqua was the worst of the three. She remembered that in her early years in life she was that shy little wallflower nobody noticed and she was just content with that. That's why she was fairly surprised to be sorted in _Gryffindor _of all Houses. _How _in Merlin's name, did she ever get sorted there?! She just couldn't believe it. That is, until she met the two freaks she now calls her best-friends. And honestly, she couldn't be more proud to call them that.

Aly had been all neutral about it. She just thought that everything happens for a reason, and the Hat had a hard time, because it really wanted _her_ to choose when she didn't really want to. She could've gone places in whichever House she chose, but she didn't really mind. The Hat got annoyed and sent her to Gryffindor, and she couldn't care less.

Ed had a mental battle with the Sorting Hat in her first year. It told her she could do great in Ravenclaw, but Ed wanted to be in Gryffindor and imagined throwing off the Hat and ripping it to pieces and burning it in a huge fire. The Hat got hurt, and threw a mental fit. Haha, _mental_ fit, get it? Nevermind. The Sorting Hat took quite some time with Ed. It even mentioned that she could make it to Slytherin—which, of course, devastated Ed. She could practically feel the aura of 'pompous' with the little addition of 'bastard'.

Now back to the present, James meanwhile had been embarking on a hard and disembarking task.

Thinking. Wait, no, that was bloody brutal. How about '_actually _thinking'. There, now that sounded _harsh_, just a step lower.

"So guys, I was thinking—"

"Bloody Hell Prongs, don't hurt yourself _too _much." A large grin formed on Sirius' face.

James gave him a death-glare. "Oh real mature Padfoot."

"James, you're talking to _Sirius _about being _mature_. It's very similar to teaching an ogre to take a bath." Remus added in.

"Hey! I resent that! My handsome face can _never_ be compared to one of an ogre!" Sirius retorted angrily.

"Oh, I don't know Pads. Your nose _does_ look a bit wide..." James grinned. It seems that his anger evaporated.

"WHAT IN BLOODY PLACES DID YOU SAY?!"

"I SAID…"

Remus tuned out most of the duo's usual banter and turned to the shocked first years that were unfortunately seated beside them. "You get a glimpse at my hell."  
_________________________________________________________________________________

Incredibly early in the morning, before dawn even came, Ed had already opened her amber-gold eyes. She drowsily got out of her nice, comfortable bed and headed straight for the showers. Once fully bathed, she started braiding her hair, put on her uniform and guess what she does next? Five seconds.

…

…

…

…

…

Her head falls back to the pillow and she starts sleeping. Again.

So unexpected, right? It was always like this; consider it one of her strange habits, just so that your jaw will lift up from the floor.

It felt only seconds after closing her eyes when she was thrown out of her bed and onto the hard floor. Ed groaned and opened her heavy eyelids once again to find two pairs of eyes staring into hers.

"What do you two want?" Ed whined, starting get up in a sitting position.

"To actually have breakfast." Aly replied.

"To get our schedules." Aqua put in.

"To not get McGonagall go all 'crazy-demented-mass-murderer' on us because we're late."

"To-"

"OKAY, OKAY! I fucking get it! Yeesh!"

Aly and Aqua smiled.  
_________________________________________________________________________________

"Ah, the first day of classes. You know what this means, right? The smell of new parchment, seeing Lily, more pranks to plan, seeing Lily, sneak trips to the kitchen…and did I mention seeing Lily?"

"PRONGS! SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP FOR MERLIN'S SAKE!" That was Sirius.

"But it's about seeing Lily!" Waste of time, really, to say who _this_ is.

"WE HEARD YOU THE FIRST HUNDRED TIMES!"

Remus and Peter nodded in agreement.

Whatever James was about to say was cut off by a voice that was melodic. Probably 'cause it was singing.

"_So she said, 'What's the problem, baby?'_" All of them turned their headsto the sound and found the same three girls from the compartment going down the hallway. Dancing.

The short one was at the middle, the black haired girl on her right and the one they remembered as Aly on the other side, she was also the one they heard singing.

All of them were swaying their arms around as blondie, Ed, sang the next line. "_What's the problem, I don't know, well maybe I'm in love,_"

"_Love!_" the other two girls chorused.

The black haired girl, Aqua, continued with, "_Think about it, every time I think about it, can't stop thinking 'bout it._"

"_How much longer will it take to cure this? Just to cure it 'cause I can't ignore it if it's love,_" Aly's turn.

"_Love!_"

All of them then sang, "_Makes me wanna turn around_"—here Ed extended her arms upwards, pointed her a finger from each hand downwards, made a circular motion and the two on either side of her made a full body turn—"_ and face me, but I don't know nothing 'bout love. Ohhh._"

They turned back to throwing their arms all over this place; this time with snapping.

"_Come on, come on, turn a little faster.__ Come on, come on, the world will follow after. Come on, come on, 'cause everybody's after love." _

"_So I said, 'I'm a snowball running',_" Aqua.

Cue Ed with: "_Running down into the spring__ that's coming all this love melting under blue skies belting out sunlight, shimmering love._"

"_Well baby I surrender to the strawberry ice cream,__ never ever end of all this love. Well I didn't mean to do it but there's no escaping your love._" Aly sang.

Aqua: "_These lines of lightning__ mean we're never alone, never alone, no, no,_"

By the time they all started singing simultaneously again, they were about ten meters from the entrance of the Great Hall.

"_Come on, come on,__ move a little closer. Come on, come on, I want to hear you whisper. Come on, come on, settle down inside my love._

"_Come on, come on__, jump a little higher. Come on, come on, if you feel a little lighter. Come on, come on, we were once upon a time in love._

"_We're accidentally in love._"

"_Accidentally in love._"

"_Accidentally in love._"

"_Accidentally in love._"

"_Accidentally in love._"

"_Accidentally in love._"

"_Accidentally in love._"

"_Accidentally in love._"

"_Accidentally! I'm in love, I'm in love,__ I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love._

"_Accidentally! I'm in love, I'm in love,__ I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love._

"_Accidentally!_"

__

"Come on, come on, spin a little tighter. Come on, come on, and the world's a little brighter. Come on, come on, just get yourself inside her.

"_Love, I'm in love__._"

They made their big finish with a long note for the last word.

Many of the people in the Great Hall had wide eyes, as well as the people behind them, including The Marauders.  
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**Me: Another chapter (hey that rhymes!) accomplished!**

**VM: * dryly* Whooot**

**Me: *smacks VM upside the head* 'Could you be more energetic?!**

**VM: No...**

**Me: *shoots her the bird* FUCK YOU!**

**VM: I'd rather not...**

**Me: *puts hands on ears and closes eyes* NO! NO! THE MENTAL IMAGE! GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD!**

**VM: REVIEW!**


	3. Schedule Troubles

**Me: Lalalalalalalala~! **

**VM: What the hell is wrong with you?**

**Me: Nothing~~! *twirls***

**VM: I find that very hard to believe. Anyway, we would like to thank that one person who made a review on this fic.**

**Me: Uh-huh. I am sooooooooooooo, incredibly happy for that one, single review. Thank you _hersheysmusicandtwilight_!**

**VM: OH! And the reason there's _a lot_ of cursing here is because, believe it or not, we're actually like that in real life!**

**Me: Mmmmmhmmm.**

**VM: *turns to Marauders* OI! WHICH OF YOU LOT WANTS TO DO THE DISCLAIMER?!**

**James: Ooh! Me!**

**Me: Then get on with it!**

**James: Yeah, yeah. Hani-senpai and Valkyrie Missile does not own my son. Haha, get it?**

**Everyone: ...**

**Sirius: ...That was bloody awful, Prongs.**

**James: Like you did any better!**

**Sirius: I certainly did!**

**VM: ACTION~!  
_________________________________________________________________________________**

"…What?" Surprisingly, it wasn't just Ed who said this at the wide-eyed, opened-mouthed Hogwarts student population, but alongside her was Aqua and Aly.

When they received no response, they decided to ignore the stares (obviously attracting it with their number 'Accidentally In Love') they were receiving. The trio proceeded to sit down at their usual place in the Gryffindor Table, at the very end, beside the doors.

Professor McGonagall greeted them with a cold air about her, perhaps disapproving of their endless pit of…er, energy. She handed them pieces of parchment—which they presumed were their schedules—stiffly and walked away. ("Gee thanks, Minnie! Feeling the love!")

Ed roared angrily.

"DOUBLE Potions?! DOUBLE History of Magic?! _And_ DOUBLE CARE OF FREAKING MAGICAL CREATURES ON A THURSDAY?!" Ed banged her head on the table repeatedly.

Augh, she really—and I mean _really_, absolutely, positively—hated those subjects. And she finds out that all of those are rolled into ONE FREAKING DAY?! Really, it's enough to drive a poor girl mad—well, madd_er._

Being the natural mother figure that she is, Aly pointed a finger at Ed. "Stop that. You'll lose more brain cells that way," she scolded.

Ed continued to lose more brain cells. "I."—_thud_—"Don't."—_thud_—"Give."—_thud_—"A."—_thud—_"Damn."

Aly just sighed and looked at her own schedule.

It wasn't long before she, herself, joined Ed's activity.

'_DOUBLE Arithmancy?!' _she thought, _'isn't one session with that God-forsaken subject bad enough?!'_

While still engrossed in their suffering, they didn't notice their friend humming happily to herself, despite her friends' demise. Yes, Aqua was quite content with her schedule, quite content indeed. She looked over at Ed and Aly. Well, she couldn't say the same for those two…

She shrugged. They'll get over it.

It was this exact same scene that greeted the Marauders as they took their seats in the Gryffindor table.

"What the hell happened to you lot?" James asked the girls, stealing a seat across from them with Sirius and Remus on either side of him. Peter sat next Remus.

"Well, based on the self-inflicted torture those two have put upon themselves," Aqua replied as she grabbed for a piece of toast. "I would have to say, they don't like their schedules very much."

Ed glanced up at their visitors and muttered, "Very big understatement," then resumed banging her head once more.

Sirius winced as his plate of scrambled eggs gave a sudden jump, causing it to spill all over the table and some on his lap. "Merlin, woman! Would you stop that for a second and let poor, starving souls eat their breakfast in peace?!"

"One freaking word, Black: no."

"Really, Rochford, you have no hope."

"Take a look at yourself in the fucking mirror and say that to me again."

"I would, but I'd be held back by the mirror itself praising my beauty, and I wouldn't want you waiting, now would I?"

"Your failure at sarcasm astounds even the most mindless of creatures, which seems to be you and your friends, Black."

Sirius gritted his teeth. "You would have first hand experience on that, won't you Rochford?"

Ed abruptly stood up and glared at Sirius. "OH YEAH, YOU MOTHER FUCKING ASSHOLE?!"

Sirius stood as well and, to Ed's great annoyance, towered over her. "THAT'S WHAT I SAID, ROCHFORD! OR ARE YOU JUST BLOODY DEAF?!"

As this banter continued on, James, Remus, Peter, Aqua and Aly (who had stopped hitting her head because of said banter) decided to ignore the two and get on with their breakfast. They had a feeling that this will become very routine. The thought made them all shudder.

"Mister Black and Miss Rochford! Stop this tomfoolery at once!" Professor McGonagall made a guest appearance.

Ed and Sirius snapped their heads at the intruder. "But—"

"No excuses! Now sit down and let the other students have their meal in peace, or I will deduct five points from Gryffindor!"

They grudgingly obeyed.

With that settled, Professor McGonagall handed the Marauders their schedules and left.

Sirius considerably brightened. "Well old chaps," he addressed the Marauders, intent on ignoring Ed, "it seems that Dumbledore fancies us, our schedules are amazingly synchronized!"

James shared Sirius' excitement and grinned alongside his best mate. "Right you are, Padfoot. I knew nobody could resist my manly charms, not even Dumbledore!"

Remus frowned at the two. "I doubt the Headmaster did it for _that_." He said, but as usual, it was ignored. "Though I am curious as to how this happened. Look here, on Tuesdays, our first class is double Potions. Then after Lunch, we all have double Muggle Studies. Well, uh, except for Peter that is."

It was true, Peter didn't take N.E.W.T.s for Potions. He also took up Divination instead of Muggle Studies, saying he wanted 'an easy O', which Remus couldn't blame Peter for. The boy was as bright as a door knob, not that he's day that out loud.

He was cut from his musings when he heard the loud sound of utensils being dropped. He glanced across, along with the rest of the Marauders, to confirm their suspicions and found that they were right: a goblet of pumpkin juice fell; now the offending liquid was spreading all over the table, and a plate had gone missing, though they had a guess that it was getting acquainted with the floor.

The Marauders' attention strayed from the fallen objects to the people who caused it. Aqua and Ed were staring at them wide-eyed, mouths hanging open, a look of utter disbelief in their eyes, and it appears somebody hit them with the Body-Bind curse.

In short, they looked as though they were told the exact date for their execution.

As though she was snapped from the effects of hypnotism, Aqua shook her head, looked at each of the Marauders and slowly asked, "Did you just say you had double Potions and double Muggle Studies on Tuesdays?"

From her right, Ed's eye began to twitch.

Remus nodded his head uncertainly.

Aqua let out a groan. "We. Are. Fucking. _Doomed_."

"Have mercy and just throw me to the Whomping Willow!" Ed cried to the heavens. "I'd rather die than spend _two_ **motherfucking classes** with these block-head Marauders!"

"Ed…? You're not the only one distressed," Aqua said, trying to calm Ed down. "Look, McGonagall could turn up any second…"

"ISN'T IT ENOUGH THAT YOU TOOK MY SISTER FROM ME?! IS THERE EVEN A GOD THERE?!" Ed was hysterically screaming.

"Sister? What's she bloody raving about?" Sirius asked.

"I-uh, nothing," Aly said, giving him a nervous smile, "She's just babbling. You know. Overreacting. They didn't really take her sister--"

"GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU BASTARDS!" Ed jumped up, furious. "YOU!" She shook a finger at Sirius. "It's you! You're the reason why this all happened! You and your bloody idiotic ways! I've had _enough_!"

"And, it's only been the first day of school," muttered Remus. "What a bloody record."

"Me? Oh, so you think YOU'RE the only one fed up!? Well, bloody _screw_ you! You're just some sodding little piece of--"

"—I think I made it clear that you should keep your voices _down,_ Rochford, Black." McGonagall said, a little loudly. "Do I have to take you to the Headmaster?!"

"Er, no, Professor McGonagall, forgive my knuckle-headed companions…" Remus tried.

"Oh, haven't seen him in a while, have I?" asked Ed innocently. "How is the old chap?"

Six pairs of eyes glared at her. Ed raised her palms up. "What?"

"Well, it seems Miss Rochford here is _enthusiastic_ about meeting her Headmaster. Mister Black, I suggest you follow suit. Also you, Miss Crux," said Professor McGonagall. "_Now_, if you please."

"What?" Aqua barely registered her shock.

"Whatever for, Professor? Look, if it's noise, then most certainly, it's Sirius and Ed--"

"I'm pretty sure the school uniform involves wearing skirts, Miss Crux and Miss Rochford."

Ed only glared at her, to which McGonagall gave back a cold stare. "You would do your best not to do this again, Miss Rochford. For Merlin's sake, it's your last year! You've been doing this since your first year, and Dumbledore may have tolerated it, but I will not have it! And do not disrespect me," she said, as Ed opened her mouth to say something, "You are rebellious and practically one of the only students who dare stand up to me."

Instead of the usual glare Ed would have given, she shocked them all by presenting a wide grin at the Professor. "Minnie, you know me well enough to not be shocked when I say, 'And I'm damn well proud of it.'"

"_Language_, Miss Rochford." Professor McGonagall said heatedly. She turned her attention to Aqua and Sirius. "The three of you kindly proceed to the Headmaster's office. _Now_."

Detecting the 'You-Better-Do-As-I-Say-Or-There-Will-Be-Blood' tone, the three teens made a mad dash to the Headmaster's office.

Several seconds passed before James turned to Professor McGonagall and said, "Incidentally, what do you mean she's the only one of the few to go against you? Do we mean nothing to you, Minnie?!"

"DETENTION, MISTER POTTER!"  
_________________________________________________________________________________

Professor Dumbledore was having a nice cup of tea, and reading the Daily Prophet. 'Tut tut,' he thought, 'seems like Tom Riddle's on the move again. The Prophet may not see his moves, but I surely do.' He looked out the window, the sky crystal-clear and the sun out. A good day to start the beginning of the year. Now, if only he didn't face a single problem, it would for sure become a perfect year…

And yet, he spoke too soon, when he heard the knocking on the door. 'Oh dear, we're not having a peaceful start of the year, are we…' Dumbledore sighed a bit. "You may enter."

The door swung open, and in came Ed, Sirius, and Aqua. Dumbledore smiled serenely—oh, the troublemakers, yet again. Not so much Aqua, but for sure Edelwynn and Sirius were on the same level. "What can I do for you, Miss Rochford, Miss Crux and Mister Black?"

"Er, you could just let us go since it's the first day of school--"

Dumbledore held up a hand to stop Ed from speaking. "I think I already know. Disturbance in the Great Hall, courtesy of you three?" He looked them over with his half-moon spectacles. "However, it seems unlikely for you, Miss Crux, seeing as you're not one to—ah," he said, stopping. The three looked at each other uncertainly. "Uniform?"

"Well, sir, you know it's our last year," Ed said. "And seeing as you weren't able to break us since first year, it's about time you tell Minnie to give up."

"A-and, disturbance in the Great Hall happens, does it not? I'm sure Ed and Sirius just got carried away. Not that I would, if you recall." Aqua rightfully earned the glares from Ed and Sirius, and she was sure that Ed was mouthing, 'you sonofabitch, you traitor, you, I'm going to kill you!'

"She started it! Ed did, sir, you know how impolite it would be, screaming down the Great Hall, it would tarnish my great image…"

"Oh, so now it's _my_ fault? You'll blame it all on me so that your asses can be saved? Is that right?"

Dumbledore held up a hand, as Sirius was about to retort. "Enough. Miss Rochford, you can hardly blame anyone else for your wearing of inappropriate uniform, and it certainly is your own choice to cause a riot in the Great Hall, and therefore," he said, meeting Ed's eyes, "none of their accusations shall make weight upon your punishment."

"Well, I didn't yell down the Great Hall," Aqua said, her eyes wide in innocence.

"And I didn't wear inappropriate uniform, sir, why would a man expose himself like that?"

Ed just looked at the two of them. "I did both, so I'm getting twice the punishment? The hell with this. C'mon old chap, it's our last year, you can't be too hard on us now."

"Actually, since it's your last year, it gives me all the more reason to be hard on you because it'll be the world you're facing out there." Dumbledore looked at the three of them, and smiled, triumphant. "But I suppose three days cleaning up the dungeons will be enough to suffice for all your crimes, Miss Rochford, Crux and Mister Black."

"Been through worse," Ed gritted under her teeth. Although she was okay with it, it was still no good to be in detention for the first few days. Just her luck.

"Would you like something more trying, Miss Rochford? The break might have weakened you, as every student tends to laze around during that time," Dumbledore said, with a wink.

"No, sir, thank you very much, we shall go ahead and start our bright, merry day," Ed said, with a hint of sarcasm that couldn't miss.

"Very well then."  
_________________________________________________________________________________

**Me: *turns to VM* I believe your OC is the spawn of Satan.**

**VM: Why, thank you.**

**Me: Hmmmmmmmm, 'bit short, don't you think?**

**VM: Well, if you just did what I said and write the whole freaking day...**

**Me: Meh, I was lazy. **

**VM: You are hopeless, you know that?**

**Me: Eh, so I've heard.**

**VM: I'm sure I said this before but... REVIEW, GODDAMNIT!**


	4. First Day: Balls, Partners, and Projects

**Me: *being dragged by VM* YOU. ARE. A. MOTHER. FUCKING. SLAVE. DRIVER!**

**VM: It's your fucking fault! You made the last chapter so bloody short! AND I've got to keep you on your toes...**

**Me: ...what did you just say?**

**VM: "I've got to keep you on your toes"?**

**Me: No, not that! The one before it!**

**VM: "You made the chapter so bloody short"?**

**Me: Sweet Merlin! Mate, your turning British!**

**VM: Well, you are too!**

**Me: Huurahhhhhhhh~!**

**VM: Before we get too excited, we would like to thank the reviewers: _ProudoftheUSA, Joelle8, TwinzLover_**

**Me: Speaking of reviews ****_ProudoftheUSA _wants to know what Aqua and Ed are wearing. The answer: the slacks of the boy's uniforms.**

**VM: Yeah, 'cause they're defiant that way.**

**Me: Okay~! Now which one of these incredibly hot Marauders--ahem, right, sorry, I mean which one of the Marauders wants to do the freaking disclaimer?!**

**VM: Why don't we make _all_ of them do the disclaimer?**

**Me: *shrugs* Eh, which ever works.**

**Marauders: These two slave drivers ("HEY! THAT'S ONLY VM!") does not own Harry Potter.**

**Me: Now on with this crap!  
**

* * *

"So, how did it go?" Aly asked as soon as she saw Ed and Aqua.

They were walking away from the Great Hall and going to their first classes. Aly and Aqua had Herbology together, Ed, meanwhile, had Defense Against the Dark Arts.

"Oh, you know, the usual. Had a nice chat with the old chap, himself. Right, and we also have detention, three days of cleaning the freaking dungeons." Ed replied in a monotone.

"Not so much the usual with Black there." Aqua put in.

Aly suddenly perked up and asked, "What _really_ happened?"

"Oh, nothing, my best friend decided to betray me, and oh, Black just wanted to save his own ass, so I nearly got twice the detention since I did both--"

"Sorry, mate," apologized Aqua. "Under pressure, you see. Can't say much when the old chap's in front of me. Still scares me shitless."

"That's why you've gotta grow balls, Aqua, _balls._"

Aly stopped and frowned. "_Balls…?_" she asked incredulously.

"O-oh," Aqua stammered. "N-no, Ed meant… _theoretical_ balls. You know. Imaginary ones."

"But… _balls_?!"

"Yeah, Aqua needs some balls."

"O-oh, as if you have any." Aqua's voice dropped to a whisper. "Shut up, Ed, you're too loud…"

"I so have balls!" Ed said indignantly, as if not hearing Aqua's whispered comment. "Theoretical and real balls! Balls that would make any real man cower in fear!"

"What's this talk of… _balls_?" piped up a voice behind them. A voice all too familiar.

The three turned around, only to find Sirius Black hot on their heels.

Ed growled. "Goddamn, Black, stop _stalking_ us! Whaddya want?!"

"Oh, so first, you don't let me eat my breakfast in peace, then you get me detention, then you also don't want me to go to class quietly? I just happened to pass by the same bloody corridor, Rochford, or are you just that dumb? And Jesus, why, would _anyone_ stalk you, of all sodding people to stalk?"

"Fuck off!"

Ignoring Ed, Sirius turned to Aqua and Aly. "So, I overheard your conversation on… balls. What about 'em?"

"You fucking don't have any!" Ed screamed at him. At this point, every single head turned their attention to Ed, and more particularly, Sirius, who turned bright red, as every male of the student population began to laugh.

"Take that back, Rochford, take that back," Sirius hissed.

"Please, Black," Ed made the world-famous, talk-to-the-hand gesture. "Not taking back something that's true."

"Fucking take it _back_, you bitch." Sirius advanced menacingly on to Ed. "I will not be humiliated by a girl, and _you_, of all girls." His nose wrinkled in annoyance. "Even then, you're not a girl at all."

"You never learn, Black! It's _bastard_, bastard, **BASTARD**! Bastard, coated with _bastard_, filled_ w_ith _bastard_ filling, topped with _bastard_ sprinkles!" Ed's voice took on a higher pitch.

"Stop it, you two!" Aqua held onto the back of Ed's robes to keep her from attacking Sirius and delivering severe damage. Aly stood between the two, blocking Sirius's path.

It's as if they weren't even there. "Stupid bastard, you mean! That's what you are, Rochford!"

"Ed, Sirius, let's calm down—"

"—OH YEAH YOU MOTHERFUCKER?!"

"Look, Aqua, here's the technique. You've gotta fight fire with fire. You gotta be louder than these bastards to get their attention. Just like—"

"—CORRECTION, I NEVER SHAGGED MY MOM, I HATE HER!"

"Shut up!" Aly yelled.

"—OH, BUT OF COURSE. _SHE_ WANTED TO SHAG _YOU_."

"Aly, it's not working."

"Wait, I'm trying."

"SHE DID NOT! SHE BLASTED ME OFF MY FAMILY TREE, SO NOW I LIVE WITH POTTER! YOU THINK THAT'S FUN?! YOU THINK I'LL EVER LOVE HER FOR THAT?!"

"OH, SO IT'S POTTER NOW, EH? I ALWAYS KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING BETWEEN YOU—"

"—STOP IT, YOU BITCHES!" Aly bellowed, finally louder than the two. "WHY DO YOU _ALWAYS_ HAVE TO FUCKING FIGHT?! GET ON WITH YOUR CLASSES, YOU NITWITS, BEFORE I RIP YOUR HEADS _**OFF**_!"

Ed gulped. Aly was the mom of the three, and very, very mom-like and nice, just like real moms, but once you pissed her off, she could give Mrs. Black a run for her money. "O-okay, mate, no need to get so heated up."

"Y-yeah," Sirius said, backing away slowly. Aly had this dangerous look of 'I-will-bloody-castrate-you-if-you-dare', and Sirius, being Sirius, didn't want to have any _serious_ damage done to his… balls. Or lack thereof. "Heading off to Defense Against the Dark Arts!" He laughed nervously.

"M-me too!" Ed stammered. Ed and Sirius were about to sprint off, when both stopped. "Wait, WHAT?!"

Veins popped everywhere.

"I HAVE DEFENSE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS WITH YOU!?" The two yelled at the same time. Or rather, screamed in rage.

"GOD, KILL ME! SEND YOUR THUNDERBOLT AND AIM IT AT MY HEAD—"

"—Throw me off the astronomy tower, please."

Aly put her fingers to her temples. "Oh, _fuck_."

* * *

"Excuse me Professor Sprout, but we're going to do WHAT?!"

"As I have said, Miss Crux," said Professor Sprout as the rest of the class—which were composed of seventh year Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs—stared at her with wide eyes, "we are doing a year long project on observing the Whomping Willow."

"Bu-but isn't that dangerous?" Aqua replied meekly and the class nodded in agreement.

"Not when I'm around, Miss Crux. Besides, we are only _observing_, nothing too dangerous." Professor Sprout answered with a tone of finality.

Defeated, Aqua joined the rest of the class moving to the grounds.

Aly nudged her side, successfully getting her attention.

"Don't worry about it too much." Aly said. "Your hair will turn gray."

Aqua laughed softly. Trust Aly to break some ice. "Thanks, mum."

But even then Aqua felt some worry returning to her. She didn't know it, really, kind of like a sense of foreboding that something terrible will happen soon. She shook her head. Aly was right, she worried too much.

They had finally reached the Whomping Willow with Professor Sprout in front of the class; Aly and Aqua bringing up the rear.

"Alright!" Professor Sprout yelled over the chatter of the students. "Now, before we start this project, you will all be grouped into pairs!"

Quick as light, both Aly and Aqua seized each other's arms and linked them together. They saw many students also did this, grabbing their desired partner.

Professor Sprout frowned.

"Students! Please don't get your partners just yet! Rather," she chuckled, "I will be assigning them for you."

All of the seventh years grumbled their protests, but nevertheless, complied.

"Hmm, yes, let's see," Professor Sprout muttered to herself, reading the piece of parchment she was holding, "Miss Apostle and Mister Hansen, please."

A girl with long, dark, frizzy hair came to the front, followed by a thin looking bloke with blonde hair.

"Mister Blackwell and Miss Dale," continued Professor Sprout.

This time it was a boy with a muscular build and incredibly tall; a girl that matches the height of her partner with long brown hair. Aly thought she had the silkiest hair she had ever seen.

And so it went on until only four people were left without any partners. There were, of course, Aqua and Aly (both are hoping to be partners), a weak looking Hufflepuff boy whose eyes keep darting all over the place, and—

'_Wait,' _thought Aqua looking squinting at their fourth companion, _'is that—? No, it can't be…SHIT!'_

Because standing there, tall and with a straight back, eyes solely on the Whomping Willow, was one Remus J. Lupin.

* * *

"You are fifteen minutes and thirty seconds late. Please, take your seats before I deduct ten points from Gryffindor," the new teacher said, coldly. "Mister and Miss…?"

"Rochford," panted Ed, as Sirius said, "Black."

The two had to run at break-neck speed to get to the DADA classroom, partly because the two had another yelling match in the hallway that lasted for seven and half minutes, and partly because they received a death glare and a threat from Aly.

"I am Professor Hawthorne, and you would do best to not be late in my class. Ever," said the professor, although Ed detected a slight snarl to that statement, and nodded.

Ed trudged to her seat, but not before giving Sirius a glare saying, 'you-fucking-sonofabitch-this-is-so-your-fault.' She also made a rude hand gesture to Professor Hawthorne, whose back was turned at that moment, and in which some goody-two-shoes gasped at.

Ed always respected her Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. It was, after all, one of her favorite subjects, and one of the handful she cared enough to do well in. However, it's well known that a teacher has never lasted a year in the post, and she vaguely wondered what Professor Hawthorne would be like. It didn't matter, because Ed knew that at the beginning of the year, she would take an immediate dislike to her DADA teacher, and then finally learn to respect them towards the end of the year.

Professor Hawthorne turned back to face us. "For the benefit of those who came in _late_," he said, shooting a look at Ed and Sirius, "We are, for the first part of the semester, experimenting on some spells. Strengthening shield charms, for example. Making counter-spells more effective. Improvising non-verbal spells. It will go on for a month and a half, and I want reports coming in every week. Do I make that clear?"

The whole class nodded. "Alright. Go into your separate pairs, and discuss."

The whole class was into an uproar, students started getting up and out of their seats, moving about, and chatting. Ed stood up too, unsure what to do, as she approached Professor Hawthorne.

"Er, Professor," Ed said, uncertainly, as the teacher slowly turned around. "I believe you haven't assigned me to a partner."

And at that same time, Sirius Black came up to the DADA professor. "Professor, I don't have a partner…"

Professor Hawthorne gave them a blank stare. Then he chuckled. Then the chuckle became a sarcastic laugh, to which Ed's eye twitched. "Obviously, Miss Rochford, Mister Black, _you_ are partners."

Sirius' eyes widened, and Ed made a sound in her throat. Twitch, twitch.

"S-surely, you meant to assign us to someone else, Professor…?" Sirius pleaded.

"Of course not! Everyone else chose their partners." He cocked an eyebrow, looking at Sirius, then Ed. "That, of course, is one disadvantage of being _late._"

"Oh, hell no, Professor," Ed said, instantly regretting how her mouth betrayed her.

"_Language,_ Miss Rochford. Something that a lady should always remember. And it is your own fault for coming in late, do not put the blame on me. Besides," he said, a small grin forming on his face, "This may be a great opportunity for you to work out some kinks in your relationship."

At this point, Sirius began to cough violently, and Ed felt like someone gave a heavy blow to her stomach.

"R-r-relationship!?"

"WHAT?!"

Professor Hawthorne only winked.

* * *

"What the hell is _he_ doing here?" Aqua whispered urgently to Aly, pointing at the offending person.

"Well I don't know, Aqua," Aly replied, sarcasm evident in her voice, "maybe it's because this is a _school_ and he's a _student_."

"Oh, come on! You know that's not what I meant!"

"I know. But seriously, it's obvious he just had the same class as us." Aly said, shrugging it off. She looked at Aqua more closely, a hint of suspicion in her eyes. "Why are you so concerned anyway?"

Aqua immediately looked away from her calculating stare and said, "Nothing. Just a bit of a surprise, is all."

"Mmmhmm," Aly murmured, still looking unconvinced.

Aqua was saved from making anymore protests by Professor Sprout saying, "Now, the last pairs."

Aqua really wished she'd get Aly for her partner. Or maybe that Hufflepuff bloke. Or anyone else, for that matter, just—she prayed to the sky—NOT LUPIN.

"Miss Malvyne and Mister Mercer."

Aqua felt her heart drop down to her stomach.

"And the last two, Miss Crux and Mister Lupin." Professor Sprout finished, rolling up her parchment.

* * *

"So, what've we got, _Rochford_?" Sirius asked, gritting his teeth. If only he knew how much Ed wanted to chain herself to manacles and jump out the Great Lake.

Ed let out a low, menacing hiss. "Nothing but one _fucking_ hypothesis, _two _sodding objectives, and _one-but-not-so_-_whole_ experiment from yours truly, because Black," she snarled, "You haven't done a single _fucking_ thing for the past fifteen minutes, and you're asking me _how_ it's going!? Try using your bloody brain if you even HAVE one."

Sirius, knowing full well that he couldn't yell and cause a ruckus in class, also hissed back a reply. "I have one, Rochford, and my logic cannot comprehend with logics that are far lesser than mine."

"Was that a word containing more than five letters, Black? Are you starting to actually grow a brain?"

Sirius only growled back.

"Barking now, are you, Black? Doesn't seem much worse than your bite."

"Fuck you, Rochford."

Ed's face wrinkled in disgust. "Of all men I would like to shag, least of all would be you, pompous bastard. Besides," she said, with a knowing smirk, "we all know you're lacking in the balls department."

Sirius opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, then opened it again.

"Imitating a goldfish now, Black?"

"Why are you so… _evil_ to me, Rochford?"

"You started it first, you bitch."

"I did not! To hell with you, woman."

"Gladly."

"What, may I ask, is your _deal_?"

"My deal, Black," Ed said, glaring at him viciously, like her looks could cut daggers into his eyes, "is you. You are practically the most pompous, no-good bastard I've met, and in all of my years in Hogwarts, it's the last one that I have to fucking deal with you. Stop making my bloody life Hell, because I've already seen and lived in it."

"Goddamn you. You think your life is Hell?! Try mine, bitch."

"Bastard."

"Fuck off."

"Grow some balls." Unbeknownst to the two, the class' chatter fell into a silent lull, to which, their insults at each other could be heard, even if they were at the very end of the room. Professor Hawthorne, at this point, was shocked to hear the two cussing each other out, but decided to keep a straight face as he walked over to their desks.

"Care to explain, or share, Mister Black, Miss Rochford, what you are discussing over there?"

"Er… Theorizing on how to improve the Protego Shield Charm?"

"I wonder as to why that topic would lead to the discussion of, oh, I don't know, _balls_."

Ed grimaced as Sirius turned beet red. The class laughed, and Hawthorne turned and gave them his coldest stare.

"See me after class, you two," Professor Hawthorne said, giving the two a _look._ "Please continue with your work," he called out to the whole class.

"Sonofabitch," Ed snarled.

* * *

"Now, what I want you to do is talk to your partner on what to monitor. It can be the movements of the Willow's branch, how it gets its water, or how does this particular plant deal with its weeds, etc. It can be anything as long as it is related to the Whomping Willow. But do not expect this to be all that we'll do, oh no, this project will merely be held half the period, while the other half is dedicated to other activities. Hurry on, now."

Aqua approached Remus with hesitance clear in her movements.

"So," she said.

Remus gave her a gentle smile. "So,"

An awkward silence ensued in which Aqua was determinedly looking down at her feet and Remus still smiling.

"Augh, I can't work like this!" Aqua suddenly yelled, shocking Remus. She snapped her head and faced him eye to eye, her arms crossed over her chest. "Let's get this straight, I really want to pass N.E.W.T.S and I'm certain you want to as well, but the only way to do that is by working together and not dragging each other's arses down. So we are going to do this right and you better be damn sure you're willing to."

Still in shock from her little speech, Remus could only nod.

"Okay. Good." She huffed. "Now that that's settled…what the _hell_ are we supposed to do for this god forsaken project?"

Remus looked at Aqua, studying her. It was quite a surprise that she had this kind of attitude, she acted as though she would rather die than work with him. Though a blow to his feelings (he gets that all the time before he was at Hogwarts, he is a werewolf after all) it was actually a curious thing to do. Most girls these days would like a chance to be with a Marauder.

"Hmmm, well, I have an idea," he said, putting a hand to his chin, thinking.

"Let's hear it then!"

"See those insects? I was thinking, maybe there's a pattern on how…"

The rest of the class was spent with students working on their desired tasks and without any event. Well, that's not exactly true. There was this incident where Aly started yelling at her partner, Lance. It went like this:

"Would you move your freaking ass?!" She yelled at the cowering boy, "We're losing time here! No! Don't go there! You'll get hit by that—"

Too late. The boy was hit on the stomach by a wild branch from the Willow.

"What did I tell you?! WHAT THE _FUCK_ DID I TELL YOU?! NOW WE'RE DELAYED! OH, THIS IS ALL YOUR _FAULT_! GET UP, YOU IDIOT!" Aly then proceeded to kick Lance at the side. Hard.

Lance let out a whimper.

"Stop complaining! Show some of that macho crap you blokes are always bragging about!"

Aqua quickly looked away from the scene, suppressing a laugh. Aly might be the mother figure to _them_, but with others, she can be as bad as Ed in her 'pissed off' moods. Sometimes even worse.

Aqua prayed for the poor, _poor_ soul of Lance Mercer.

* * *

Ed stabbed her chicken viciously, muttering and swearing under her breath.

"Er, Ed…?" Ed's demeanor greatly disturbed Aly and Aqua, because it certainly was not a good sign for her to be pissed on the first day of school. And surely, they were going to get their fair share of Ed's temper, if they didn't get her to cool down.

"What?" Ed snapped.

"Now don't talk to us like that, mate. Tell us what the hell happened to you that got you so freaking cross." Aly said.

Ed's face took on the look of a crazy mass murderer. "Sirius. Fucking. Black." she replied, practically choking out her words in her utter rage. The hand holding her knife shook dangerously, and there was a mad glint in her eyes.

Aqua eyed the silver knife. "Er, Ed, you might want to put that down first…"

"I'LL NOT PUT THIS BLOODY KNIFE DOWN 'TILL I SHOVE IT DOWN BLACK'S THROAT!"

"Okay. No problem. Just be sure you don't stick it in ours." Aqua said, visibly inching away from Ed. Really, the midget had some temper…

"So, what _did_ Black do? We can castrate him for it," Aly asked, hopefully trying to get Ed into a lighter mood. "You know what they say, if you tell someone about your problems, you feel less burdened by them."

Instantly, Aly regretted asking.

"WHAT DID BLACK DO?! WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT SONOFABITCH DID?! HE RUINED MY DADA CLASS! HE MADE ME FUCKING _LATE,_ GET A BAD FIRST IMPRESSION FROM THE FUCKING _TEACHER,_ AND BEING THE USELESS, POMPOUS, SODDING BASTARD THAT HE IS, HE DIDN'T EVEN HELP WITH OUR PROJECT! AND DID I FORGET TO MENTION HE'LL BE MY PARTNER FOR _A MONTH AND A HALF!?!!_" Ed stabbed her chicken with such unnerving force that it made her plate rattle, and her goblet too, causing the people beside them (and all of them were staring) to wince. "THAT BLOODY GIT! I SWEAR BY ALL THINGS UNHOLY, I WILL PERSONALLY DRAG HIM TO THE FIERY PITS OF _HELL_!"

"At least you don't have to deal with any of the Marauders today, Ed," Aly soothed, patting Ed on the back.

Ed bit into her chicken angrily, grumbling to herself. After a while, she seemed to calm down, although her eyebrows were still intact, and that nasty frown stayed on her face. "Bloody better not be."

Aqua nudged Aly. "Blimey, you forgot to tell her she's facing the whole lot of them first thing tomorrow for Potions… And for Muggle Studies too, if I'm not mistaken," she said in a low voice that surely even Ed wouldn't hear.

How wrong she was.

"WHAT?!" At this point, Aqua and Aly pulled out a pair of earplugs.

"BLOODY POTIONS WITH THOSE PRATS?!! NOW THAT IS IT, I WILL PERSONALLY CALL ON THE HOUNDS OF HELL TO FEED ON THOSE BLASTED MARAUDERS!! THEY WILL REGRET MEDDLING WITH—"

"—the Midget of Hell…"

"BLOODY CLAM IT, AQUILA CRUX!"

* * *

Dinner was already being served in the Great Hall.

The usual chatter of students from the four, long tables filled the Hall. Food was of abundance in Hogwarts, as was usual, and the whole of its population was enjoying it immensely.

Aly was sitting at the Gryffindor table, Aqua just beside her. Now, to and innocent passer-by, nothing odd comes out of this picture. Just two friends, eating dinner, and making idle chatter. Nothing odd at all.

But the Marauders were different.

In the short, short time they knew these girls (barely even a day), they understood that they value their friendship very dearly. It's even similar to how the Marauders value theirs.

So it was actually very curious, when they found two of them, but found one missing.

"Where the bloody hell is Rochford?" Sirius asked, as the rest seated themselves across from the girls, just as they had done that morning in breakfast.

He was answered by twin glares.

Sirius put his hands up in the universal gesture of 'don't-kill-me-with-those-bloody-samurai-swords-shooting-out-from-your-freaking-eyes'. Well, it was more or less the message.

"Why the hell do you care?" Aly spat, her tone threatening.

Sirius shrugged. "I'd like to keep tabs on the most annoying creature in this world."

The glares intensified.

"If you must know," said Aqua in an unusually strong voice, "Ed's still in classes."

The four boys stared at her with wide eyes.

"But it's _dinner_!" James finally yelled, after an awkward silence ensued. People began to stare, but only a handful.

"And your fucking point?" Aly asked.

"There are no classes during dinner or after it," replied Remus calmly.

"Ever heard of determination, you blokes?" Aqua asked.

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?" Sirius asked back.

Aly sighed and said, "Look, okay. You don't know Ed as much as we do. If you did, you'd know what she went through, and how she absolutely wants to become an Auror. And not just any Auror—because, heck, people reckon the number for Auror applicants have risen due to You-Know-Who—but the best Auror the Wizarding World has ever seen. And she made a promise to someone. Ed is a girl who sticks to her words. That, is determination, you bastards."

The rest of the meal consisted of silence.

The Marauders were contemplating on what Aly had said. They never knew someone can be this dedicated to the profession they like. Maybe, just maybe, a spark of respect had lighted within them for the blonde midget ("Respect my ass.")

"What happened?" Sirius asked quietly.

"Huh?"

"To Ed, he means," Remus said.

Aly stared at the two of them, and was about to open her mouth when Aqua glared at Sirius.

"You don't deserve to know," she said, in a deadly tone.

"P-pardon?" Remus stammered.

"You don't deserve to know! Nothing, about Ed! And we'll not tell you. Why don't you ask her? It's her secret to tell." Aqua said, challenging Sirius, who opened his mouth to reply. "But even then, she won't tell you, you bastards, because you won't understand!"

"It's about high time you learned about respect, Black," added Aly.

Minutes before the food disappeared, they noticed Aqua grabbing a clean plate and piling it high with all sorts of main courses and desserts. Aly was also getting two goblets of pumpkin juice from the table.

"Those for Rochford?" Sirius asked the obvious question.

He only got two brisk nods as a reply before the two girls left the Great Hall.

The other Marauders glared at him.

"What?!"

"Blimey, mate, I didn't think you were such an insensitive wart."

* * *

"EDELWYNN MOTHERFUCKING ROCHFORD!"

Ed awoke with a start. She stretched from her desk, filled with parchment and her quill and ink. Aqua and Aly came up with a plate and two gobletfuls of pumpkin juice. The three were in their dorm, shared with two others—who, surprisingly, were not there.

"Here's your dinner, Ed," Aqua sang out, handing her the plate. Ed smiled gratefully, and began scarfing the whole thing down. "Might wanna slow down there, mate," Aqua said.

"Sorry. I always forget."

"S'okay," Aly said, sitting beside her. She frowned, looking at the piles of parchment on Ed's desk. "What the fuck is that? Homework?"

"Oh, for next week—"

"—Ed!" Aly smacked her head lightly.

"Ow! What?"

"Didn't we discuss that you're not overworking yourself this year?!"

"But, mate, it's only for next week," Ed protested. "It's much better if I finish this week and not worry about it on Friday."

Aqua rolled her eyes. "That's what you're gonna say next week; for next next week's homework."

Ed grimaced. "But I—"

"—Hate to tell ya this, mate," Aly said, cutting in. "But if your sister were here now, she'd have told you to relax a bit. It's your last year, for Merlin's sake!"

"But I promised Al," Ed said. "I'm not giving up. Taking a break means giving up. I won't. I need to do this, Aly."

The three just looked at each other. Aqua sighed, as Aly ran a hand through her hair.

"Fine," Aly said.

"Thanks, Aly." Aly waved it off, going to her trunk to take out some clothes and change. Soon, she dozed off, while Aqua still watched Ed multi-task between eating and working.

"Ed."

"Hm?" Ed said, still not taking her eyes off the parchment.

"Don't stay out too late, mkay? We don't want you to faint in class tomorrow. Potions, remember?"

"I know."

"G'night, mate."

"Night, Aqua."

* * *

**Me: ...**

**VM: ...**

**Me: ...**

**VM: ...**

**Me: ...psst, VM.**

**VM: What?**

**Me: I have no freaking idea what to say!**

**VM: I don't know, either! How about we just sing?**

**Me: Okay~!...What do we sing?**

**VM: ...I don't know...**

**Me: Oooh! Glee! *takes deep breath* I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU SAY GOODBYE I SAY HELLO~~~!**

**VM: ENOUGH WITH THE GLEE!**

**Me: REVIEW!  
**


	5. Everything Just Goes Kablooey

**Me: Helloooo my minions-uh, I mean _readers_.**

**VM: You do know you're screwed, right?**

**Me: Hmm? Why?**

**VM: Uh, maybe because YOU DIDN'T UPDATE FOR TWO FUCKING MONTHS?**

**Me: IT'S NOT MY FAULT! Well, maybe a little bit, BUT STILL! WE WENT ON VACATION LAST MAY AND YOU NOW OUR SCHOOL STARTS AT JUNE!**

**VM: THAT'S NOT A FUCKING EXCUSE!**

**Me: Well fuck you, smart ass.**

**VM: ...**

**Me: Don't you even fucking dare make an innuendo on that...**

**VM: You take out all the fun.**

**Me: It's a gift. Now, let's welcome Lily Evans on the stage!**

**Lily: Why am I even here? POTTER! WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO? * receives dark glares from both authoresses* Uh, fine. These two do not and _will not_-if I ever have a say in this-Harry Potter.**

**VM: ACTION!  
**

**

* * *

**"WE'RE LATE! WE. ARE. SO. BLOODY. LATE!"

The shout filled the whole Gryffindor Tower.

Nobody heard it because—if you have gone temporarily blind and/or you fucking skipped the first part—the person who yelled, along with their companion, was bloody late.

The accused person was hurriedly changing into her school uniform and robes while muttering, "I will kill Aly for not waking us up. I will torture her into oblivion. I will see blood. I WILL HAVE MY _REVENGE_!" Er, right.

Aquila Crux was just fixing up her hair into her usual pony-tail when she noticed that Ed _still_ did not wake up, despite Aqua's rather loud wake-up call. Merlin, a group of Merpeople can be singing on land while Ed's sleeping and she won't even move!

Anxiously—they only had five minutes to get to the dungeons for Potions!—she went through plans on how to wake Ed up.

'_Maybe just hitting her head?'_ she thought, '_No, she'll take up too much time complaining.'_

Seconds passed and yet no idea. She usually needed Aly for this situation, as the tallest of the three thought up new ways on how to awaken Ed. Not a single plan ever worked twice.

Aqua bit her lip. Desperate, she looked at Ed's sleeping form. She was curled up in bed, already wearing her robes—that's good, less time consuming—and her braided hair was hanging from the bed.

A thought struck Aqua.

Suppressing a grin of malicious insanity, she got her and Ed's bags then hauled them onto her left shoulder.

Then, quite swiftly, she grabbed Ed's braid with her right hand and started dragging it—and the small body attached—out of the dormitories.

Of course, the moment she pulled on Ed's braid, the midget woke up.

"PAIN! OH, THE PAIN! HOLY FUCKWADS, POMPOUS SLAGS AND BLOODY MERLIN, WHO'S PULLING ON MY—oh. Mornin', Aqua. MIND LETTING GO OF MY FUCKING BRAID?"

But Aqua did not answer her. She didn't even acknowledge that her, ahem, captive is already conscious. Instead, she just kept walking in large strides that made Ed complain even more.

"ATTENTION TO THE FUCKING PSYCHO WHO'S DRAGGING ME AROUNG LIKE A FUCKING DOG!"

No answer.

Aqua could almost see the door to the Potions classroom, just a few feet ahead, and she started walking faster. She quickly glanced at her watch.

"FUCK! THIRTY SECONDS!"

"THIRTY SECONDS FOR WHAT?"

"FOR FUCKING POTIONS, BASTARD!"

"Oh…" Ed adopted a slightly confused look… then scowled. "WELL, GET A FUCKING MOVE ON, THEN!" she roared.

The malicious glint returned to Aqua's eyes. "If you say so…" She broke into a run, still lugging their bags… and _still_ holding Ed's braid—and of course, Ed.

"Ow, ow, ow, owowow, OW! BE NICE TO MY HAIR, WHY DON'TCHA?"

"YOU SAID TO GET A _FUCKING _MOVE ON!"

"WELL, DID I SAY YOU NEEDED TO PULL MY HAIR SO VICIOUSLY?"

"DID YOU EVEN CONTEMPLATE THAT _MAYBE_ GETTING A MOVE ON WOULD RESULT TO THAT?"

"BITCH!"

"BASTARD!"

Needless to say, they arrived just in time.

Ed massaged her whole head, which was undoubtedly hurting from all the pulling, and Aqua was cursing under her breath. Aly looked nonchalant as they settled their bags on either side of her. "Good morning, sleepyheads," she said, with an innocent look on her face. "Looks like you managed without me."

Aqua glared. Aly didn't falter under her gaze, but instead looked ahead as Professor Slughorn entered the dungeons.

Ed swore a whole lot as she looked around the classroom and saw the three Marauders, Lupin, Black and Potter.

"Fucking son of a gun… Potions with those hellions! Fuckfuckfuck…" Ed's demeanor made Aqua frown and look in the direction of the Marauders—unwillingly meeting the eyes of one Remus Lupin. Aqua quickly looked away, though not quite sure why she did.

Instead, she focused on Slughorn as he started giving out instructions.

"Yes, well, for today we are going to brew the Pepper Up potion. Now, for those who have the ambition to become Healers"—Aqua's ears perked up—"this is a very basic yet a very vital potion."

If one would bother to glance at the back of the class, they would notice the simply dazzling grin that coated Aqua's face.

"As you have noticed with most of your classes, you have been instructed to join in pairs and work on a long-term project, whether a year-long, month-long, week-long, etc. The reason for this, my dear students, is to practice the new curriculum that will, hopefully, increase the performance level of each N.E.W.T. student." Slughorn was obviously happy with these changes for a smile graced his lips at the end of his little speech.

Ed, meanwhile, had a different emotion on the matter.

"You mean I got stuck with Black because the whole fucking Hogwarts staff just _changed_ the god-damn curriculum?" She groaned. "I knew it. I just fucking knew it! They hate me!"

"Oh Ed," said Aly soothingly, "when did you _ever_ doubt that?"

"YOU-!" Ed started to say, but was immediately silenced when Aqua gave a glare and indicated to the front of the classroom. Slughorn once again opened his mouth.

"So to follow this, I have arranged you all by pairs." Every student let out a muffled groan. "I'm afraid to say that I am a bit old-fashioned, why the years just keep on coming on,"—he chuckled as if it were some sort of private joke—"and I have arranged you all by alphabetical order." The groans weren't so muffled anymore. Slughorn gave an apologetic smile, before speaking again. "So, let's begin with… Miss Apostle! Please move to sit beside Mister Armstead, quickly please!"

Ed looked her two companions. "Let's see… Crux… Rochford… Malvyne." Her expression changed from confusion to anger. "Arggh, it's neither of you two!"

"…You only realized now?" Aly said, with a straight face, while Aqua gave Ed a stern look.

"I—ah—But… ARGH!" Ed blustered.

"Black… and Crux." Slughorn said, looking down on his list and up at the three, glancing at Sirius on the other end of the room. "Well then, get a move on!"

"Give him hell from me," Ed hissed at Aqua, as she passed by. Aqua merely smiled as she made her way to Black. The smile faded, however, as she realized it was Lupin's seat she'd have to take, the one in between Sirius and James. She gave the three—two, now—a reluctant smile which only Remus returned as he picked up his stuff. To Remus' utter confusion, Aqua quickly moved away from his gaze, seemingly determined not to look at him again.

"Davis and… Evans!" Slughorn said, triumphantly. Ed rolled her eyes. Everyone knew that Lily Evans was Slughorn's favorite student of all time—straight fucking O's, and Head Girl. She was previously the Gryffindor prefect, too. Ed did not like the redhead much… but then again, Ed did not like a lot of people. From the other side of the room, a certain James Potter groaned as '_his beautiful Lily_' was paired up with a '_mongrel_'.

"Lupin and… Malvyne." This made Aly and Ed look at each other, as Lupin took the place of Aqua—the one to the right of Aly. Ed shot him a look of contempt, which Lupin answered with a look of confusion. "Hello," he said, reluctantly, to both Aly and Ed.

Aly smiled brightly at him. "Good morning, Remus," she said, while Ed looked on ahead and started cursing under her breath again.

"Potter and… Rochford."

"FUCK!" Ed blurted out, making Slughorn stop and fix his gaze on her. Aly smacked her palm onto her forehead as everyone turned slowly to look at Ed.

"Is there a problem… Miss Rochford?" Slughorn asked, raising an eyebrow, clearly hearing what Ed had said.

Ed's eyes flashed with anger, and she gripped her hand tightly into a fist, before speaking again. "No, Professor Slughorn."

Slughorn eyed her suspiciously before nodding. "Alright then… Roswell and Rutherford."

Ed shot Aly a look that clearly said _'Oh-for-fuck's-sake-spare-me-this-bullshit'_. Aly only gave her a pitying smile as Ed took off and sat beside Potter, who, unfortunately, was only a seat away from Black.

Potter had a scowl plastered on his face that matched Ed's, and it grew even more as she hissed at him. "Move. I want to sit beside Aqua," she said.

"The fuck? No! I want to sit closer to Sirius," Potter protested.

Ed's eyes turned dark with fury. "Do you want to fucking _die,_ Potter? Out of my way before I bloody kill you!"

"But I—"

"Potter, just let the _fucking_ bastard sit with the _fucking_ bitch," Aqua snarled, and James' face took on a look of fear and confusion.

He glanced at Ed then back at Aqua. "Fine," he grumbled, moving his stuff over to the seat beside him. He glared at Ed who glared back.

"Thanks Aq," Ed muttered, as soon as she settled beside the black-haired witch.

"No problem, Ed," Aqua said, as she sat down. "Besides, who'll save you from exploding the whole dungeon?"

Ed snarled. "Shut up, Crux."

"Sure, Rochford."

"My, my, look who's in a bad mood today," Sirius said, making a tsk-tsk sound. Ed shot him the coldest stare she could manage, and Sirius merely smiled, clearly pleased that she was annoyed.

Not ten minutes later, Ed and James' cauldron seemed to be emitting green bubbles instead of the intended red vapor.

Ed turned her head hopefully to her partner…only to see that he was doing the same with her.

She wanted nothing more than to break James Potter's nose right there and there. And maybe Slughorn's as well for assigning this fucker for her partner.

Ed bit back a groan of frustration as she swallowed the last bit of her pride and directed her hopeful gaze at Aqua.

What she saw almost made her fall off her chair.

Aqua was quite calmly stirring her potion while adding the Ashwinder egg in. From the knitting if her eyebrows to the hard gaze she was giving her potion, Ed deduced that she was in her full concentration mode.

…she couldn't say the same for Black, though.

His whole body was bound by rope and his mouth had a wad of Spellotape over it. He was also glaring heated daggers at the back of Aqua's back.

Ed knew that this was Aqua's way to instill that her potion remained safe and uncontaminated by Marauder hands, but she couldn't help but feel that this was a _bit_ over the top.

But then again, this _is_ Black, so she decided to leave it be.

But there was that issue of getting a zero at the end of the day. And Ed would not stand it if she got a P or worse, a T because of that stupid Potter… though she herself was to blame, also. If anything, Ed could not bloody cook, much less make a potion by herself, or things go kablooey.

So Ed spoke up. "Oy, d'you mind? I need a lil' bit of help here, you bitch."

No answer. Ed coughed. "A-_hem_," she said, a little pointedly. Aqua appeared to not have heard her.

Ed made a small noise in her throat. "Crux, you bitch…"

And almost as soon as she said that, their potion proceeded to make gurgling noises, which immediately caught their attention. Ed stared at the cauldron with wide eyes. The potion had begun to take on a sickly, booger-green composition, and sparks began to fly out of it. James took a few steps back, as did Ed, their gazes still transfixed on the potion.

"Ooops," Ed said. "I think we put in too much phoenix ash."

**BOOM!**

One second was all it took for the room to be coated with boiling hot—_whatever_ it is that Ed and James concocted. There were horrified shrieks from most of the girls and groans from the guys. Black, in particular, was looking at her as if she was the source of most of his problems and the devil itself.

Which, Ed mused, _might _be a little bit true. Ah, who the hell was she kidding, it was the stone-cold truth.

All those thoughts, however, were lost from her mind when she sensed a particular killing intent. Yes, an _I-will-not-just-kill-but-I-will-fucking-torture-you-with-ancient-tools-and-gut-you-fucking-alive_ killing intent. Very expressive.

Gulping, Ed turned her head to the source.

"_**Edelwynn Rochford…**__" _Aqua growled. She didn't seem to mind that she was getting burns where the potion was setting (which was most of her right side). Aqua advanced on Ed threateningly and the latter put both her hands up and walked backwards at the same time as Aqua. "_**Run. Now.**_"

"N-now. Mate," Ed said in a way that suggested this is her last resort, "wasn't it _you_ who said you were gonna stop my potion from exploding…?"

Aqua cracked her knuckles.

"Mate," Aly chimed in from her place, "I suggest not making it worse. And run, definitely run."

"But it's true!" Ed cried. But all her defiance disappeared as her back hit the door. She threw it open and got out of the danger zone. "Goodbye, folks! I hope you all die in hell!"

And then the epic chase started.

* * *

**Me: Short, but, meh.**

**VM: Don't worry though, we'll be posting chapter six soon enough. And five other chapters this month if I have my way.**

**Me: YOU ARE TORTURE ITSELF, YOU FUCKING BASTARD!**

**VM: Does it look like I give a damn?**

**Me: ...REVIEW~! Please..?**


	6. Blame It All On PMS

**Me: Yeeeeeeah, we know we promised this will be posted soon but...**

**VM: HEY! WHAT'RE _YOU _SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN YOU GOT A FREAKING SEVERUS SNAPE IN YOUR OWN FUCKING CLASSROOM?**

**Me: Our point exactly! **

**VM: Yeah!**

**Me: Let's just do the disclaimer and get on with it, shall we?**

**VM: Sure, whatever. We actually ran out of Marauders and wife-of-a-Marauder so we'll just let dear old Professor Dumbledore do the troublesome disclaimer.**

**Dumbledore: These young ladies do not own the most interesting series of Harry Potter. But I admit, it will be amusing to see their progress on terrorizing it. *smiles***

**Me: Awwwww, you gotta love Dumbledore. Ready, set, go!  
**

**

* * *

**  
Two hours, several curse words (mostly varying from "BITCH!" to "BASTARD!"), badly shaped bruises that were healed by an irate looking Madam Pomfrey, and lunch later, the three girls were now heading off to Muggle Studies.

"You know," said Aly conversationally, "you both look like hell dragged you in and spit you back out."

Both girls scowled at her.

"Thanks for the concern, _Mum_." Ed snapped.

"Anytime, darlings," Aly chirped.

Aqua chose this moment to groan. "Look," she started, "I know we're in a pissed off mood because we had to finish assignments we were too damn lazy to do last night this lunch and haven't eaten much—save for that fried chicken—which is intensified 'cause I think we're all PMSing—" Aqua stopped suddenly when she felt her companions' glare. "What? I just _think_ that's the reason! Think, _think_, _**think**_!"

Ed made a look of mock astonishment. "Aqua, mate, I didn't know you knew how to _think_!" She said the last word with a poor imitation of Aqua's previous irritated tone.

Before the black haired girl could lunge and strangle the blonde with her bare hands, Aly grabbed her by the collar and dragged her away.

Finding no way to escape Aly's death grip, Aqua compromised by glaring at Ed and proclaiming, "I will kill you."

"If I had a Knut for every damn time I heard that…" Ed shook her head ruefully.

"You'd be swimming in money. Literally."

"Right you are, mate, how right you are."

"Speaking of which, how _are_ those people that swear vengeance on you and/or curse you to hell every chance they get?"

Ed shrugged, apparently not giving a damn that a group of people hated her guts. "Eh, they'll realize soon enough that pitchforks and torches just don't inflict much fear and pain like they used to anymore."

Aqua looked thoughtful for a moment before she shrugged. "Fair point."

Sensing that the girl had no more reason for Aly to be dragging her (thus given a free 'ride') to Muggle Studies, Aly quickly dropped her burden and stretched out her arm.

"FUCK!" Aqua cried as the back of her head had acquainted itself with the floor. She rubbed the sore spot and winced as another wave of pain hit it.

"There is this thing called being gentle…" she muttered to Aly.

Aly blinked. "So?"

"You could put it in your list of morals."

"…I still don't get it."

"Let me rephrase that: _Would_ you allow being gentle to be in your list of scarce morals?"

Ed let out a loud snort. "HA! You're kidding, right?"

Aly copied Ed's action. "Whatever the midget said."

She got an earful from the said midget and even a threat for the living daylights in her to be punched out.

Aqua sighed as she followed the two. "_This_ is why I blame it all on PMSing…"  


* * *

  
Sirius was finding it quite hard not to stand up from his seat and jump out the nearest window.

He had been able to squash this urge previously for he was distracted. It was a known fact that the sight of food would be enough to turn Sirius' attention away from even the most fearsome Death Eater.

Women were also a good distraction. And James Potter. And people crying out, "Look! A flying Voldemort wearing a pink night dress and fluffy bunny slippers!"

Then again, anyone would have dropped down on the ground had they heard that.

All those distractions went down the fucking drain when Sirius saw Rochford enter the classroom.

The annoying shrimp—as he was fond to nicknaming her by—practically had a gift for going into majority's 'people to be pissed at' list—a gift Sirius knew he also had.

And he loathed it. And her. And the whole damned class.

"Damn that bi—bastard," Sirius muttered to himself.

"Who?"

"I said, damn that BASTARD!" Sirius said, a little loudly. Remus looked a little taken aback.

"Sirius, are you alright?"

"FUCKING NO!"

Remus decided not to ask anymore, lest he be harmed at the cost of Sirius' happiness. James raised an eyebrow, however, and Remus guessed something unintelligent was going to come out of his mouth.

"Rochford? Damn midget's got the same class as us…"

"Y'mean… bastard," Sirius snarled.

Remus nearly gagged on his own spit, and stared at the two, wide-eyed. What was the world coming to? James Potter was beginning to think straight? Or _think_, for that matter? Then again, James and Sirius could, at times, actually not be mindless idiots. However, they rarely chose to do so…

…But nevermind that. Remus turned to look at the blonde and instead of her, he found himself staring directly at none other than Aquila Crux. He frowned—he could've sworn Ed was there earlier—and frowned more as Aqua's eyes flickered to meet his, and she looked away, as quickly as she had met his gaze. '_What the hell did I ever do…?_' he thought, a little concerned. He had a gut feeling it was not quite because he was a Marauder.

He heard, rather than saw, the door bang open.

In came their Muggle Studies teacher—a plump, little witch, with grey streaks on her tangled mass of red hair. She was smiling in an overzealous, yet secretive way that made the three Marauders fidget on their seats.

"Good afternoon class!" Professor Booker exclaimed in a _too_ happy tone. It was dubbed as the Doomsday Voice by later generations of Hogwarts students.

But the students now were stuck on their blissful ignorance and were perfectly content to just mutter a "Good afternoon" back.

"Alright," she said promptly, "can anyone please tell me what they expect from this class, especially now in seventh year?"

Several hands shot up.

Ah, the never changing first class question. Most Professors take the obvious route and ask the bloody question, expecting to find an intellectual answer that usually states that 'it will help them in the future' or 'to be fun'. Bloody kiss-arses.

Personally, Sirius thought that it was some load of fucking shit.

Professor Booker gestured to a boy behind Sirius and he answered with an, "I hope the classes this year will be just as fun as the ones last year." Add a blinding smile to that picture and you have a point fucking proven.

The Professor smiled that smile once again. "_Yes_, this year _would_ be fun, no?

…what the bloody hell was that about?

And so it went for the first twenty minutes of the class. With students saying their expectation while Professor Booker would do that annoying smile and have a riddle of sorts in her voice whenever she responded.

She finally ended the reflection time as no one seemed to have any more answers. Sirius nearly cried out 'Hallelujah!' when that happened.

"Now that we are done with my question, I have an announcement," she paused here, perhaps waiting for a reply, but when none came, she continued on. "At the end of this year, to commemorate your last year at Hogwarts, we are acting out a play written by the Muggle author Shakespeare."

There was an awkward silence.

"Any reactions? Any _violent_ reactions?"

Oh, Sirius knew he had a violent reaction right there. All he really had to do was reach for his wand and say the choice words.

But before he could do anything that would make people doubt his already unstable sanity, several things happened.

Rochford banged her hands on the desk and pulled herself up. She glared around the whole classroom before her hateful gaze landed on the Professor. She then screamed bloody murder.

Before they could cover their ears from that shout of what they _swore_ was a banshee, another one from their little group stood up as well. Crux proceeded to slap the blonde on her face.

Rochford's neck actually made a mild cracking noise.

And before they had the chance to recover from _that_, Malvyne shot up from her seat and towered over the two girls. She pushed back her sleeves. Malvyne brought down her upper body strength on their heads, causing them to land painfully back in their chairs.

Sirius thought he saw a crack appear on one of the legs.

Every person in the room stared at them with wide eyes and even larger mouths.

"Is _that_ violent enough for you, Professor?" Rochford said with a smug tone mixed in her voice.

She and her friends got two weeks worth of detention after that.  


* * *

  
"OY! MIDGETS! Yes, I'm talking to you, the kid who stares at me weirdly. MAY I DIRECT YOUR ATTENTION TO THE MOST AWESOME, MOST EYE-CATCHING, THE MOST FANTAST—"

"—a _bit_ too much, don't you think, Prongs?"

"SHUSH, INFIDEL!"

Remus rolled his eyes.

It was already after dinner and most Gryffindors were enjoying some time in the Common Room. Whether to do homework, talk with friends, or play games, nobody really gave a damn.

It was in the middle of this peace that James Potter chose to drop the bomb-shell.

The announcement for the Quidditch try-outs.

Nothing was really wrong about this, per se, but since James was made the new Gryffindor Quidditch captain, there was bound to be a riot whenever he so much as says the word "bludger".

Just as he predicted, a group of girls were batting eyelashes at their general direction. Sighing, he glanced at the one girl James would have _loved_ to look at him like that.

Lily Evans was openly glaring at James in such a way that Remus had to wonder why he didn't spontaneously combust right there at the middle of the Gryffindor Common Room.

She was also sending hate-filled sneers at the direction of James' fan-girls.

Interesting…

His eyes swept over the room again and landed one a pair of amber-colored ones.

Rochford…?

Huh, so it is.

He looked at her eyes again, this time seeing the fierce determination behind them as she seemed to be absorbing every word that James said concerning the Qudditch try-outs.

This year's Team might actually be interesting.

Or freaking amusing, in Remus' case.

* * *

**Me: READY, SET, GO IT'S TIME TO RUN~!**

**VM: THE SKY IS CHANGING, WE ARE ONE~!**

**Me: TOGETHER WE CAN MAKE IT WHILE THE WORLD IS CRASHING DOWN~!**

**VM: DON'T YOU TURN AROUND~~~!**

**Me: Yeah, we love that song, so freaking sue us! (Do not take this seriously...)**

**VM: We basically have just one thing to say. PLEASE REVIEW~!**


	7. Quidditch Tryouts Are Just Hell Part 1

**Me: Mate, I have not realized that it has only been less than a month since I last updated...**

**VM: It felt like six months, actually. Six mother-effing months of not-stop studying, projects, practices, events and _other _events...our school hates us, I swear.**

**Me: AND THEY HAVE THE FUCKING RIGHT TO CALL US 'SLACKING OFF'? THAT'S SOME MAJOR BALLS! WELL, FUCK THEM, THEN!**

**VM: Veering away from our rants...a reviewer would like to know what the hell Ed from FMA is doing in this fic...yeah, well, I made a mistake on explaining that. Truth is, s****he was originally an OC for FMA, but I decided to stick her in the HP storyline... simply because I can.**

**Me: Right. Now that that's cleared up...mate, do we _really_ have to do the disclaimer?**

**VM: ...HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW?**

**Me: FINE! BE THAT WAY! LET'S JUST REFUSE TO DO IT FOR THIS CHAPTER AND SEE WHAT READERS WHO ACTUALLY BOTHER TO READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE OPINIONS ARE?**

**VM: FINE!**

**Me: OKAY! START!  
**

**

* * *

**The rest of the week was spent with Ed swearing that God had a personal vendetta against her and was purposefully making time go slower.

She just wanted to try out for the Gryffindor Quidditch team, so what the hell was wrong with that?

Sure, she was…less of average height and most of the wizard society will frown on her entering because of the fact that she was a girl (damn those bastards who say that), but still!

Damn it. There was nothing left to do but swallow thefucking nerves.

And let her tell you, not the most pleasant feeling you could freaking get.

* * *

"Look out, look out, it's Gryffindor Quidditch Team tryouts! I, your amazing, drop-dead gorgeous Quidditch Team Captain, Gryffindor's best Chaser ever, and Head Boy, James Potter, declare today to be a clear sunny day—perfect for Quidditch!" James smiled over at the heads of the sixty or so Gryffindors. They all wanted one thing—to get on the team.

"Me and my best mate, Sirius Black here," Sirius bowed at the mention of his name. "Will oversee and judge who to bring in the team. Of course, Sirius himself already has a spot in the team, unless someone proves better—and then I guess I have to kick him out." And handful of Gryffindors laughed, and Sirius grinned.

The Quidditch pitch was swarming in students—mostly Gryffindors. Majority took to the bleachers while a large handful out of the whole Gryffindor population tried out for the team. Several Hufflepuffs came, there were about five Ravenclaw groups, and only a handful of Slytherins. Majority were also girls, coming only to watch Potter and Black, the biggest 'heartthrobs' of Hogwarts.

"So who's ready to bring it on?"

Ed stood by, farther back up the line, unseen by Potter and Black. She was going to try out for the team, always wanted to since she had proven to be a natural since their first year—but she was held back by studies and coping issues. This was the last year she was going to be in Hogwarts, so it better be memorable. Aly and Aqua were in the bleachers, watching. They would have been cheering her on, but Ed decided against it, saying that their voices only made her jumpy and that she really didn't want to be discovered by Potter and Black. But she knew it was inevitable.

"Okay, now, let's all fall into lines. Beaters with Black. Chasers with me. Keeper and Seeker tryouts are this afternoon, come back later, nitwits. Move it, people!"

Ed swore under her breath, as twenty or so Gryffindors left. She lined up with the others trying out for Beaters, taking care to be in the very back of the line of the fifteen or so people.

"Listen up, Beaters! I, ruggedly handsome, witty and charming, Sirius Black, am looking for a fellow Beater. Not just any Beater. A Beater that has instinct. Gut. Wits. Strength. A little on the agile side. Size doesn't matter. Okay, well, it does. Somewhat." At this, Ed only growled, and effectively tuned him out. Ed was pretty small for a Beater—it requires great stamina and strength to be one. Ed's built was more cut out for a Seeker, or a Chaser, but she proved her classmates wrong in the first year, when they had mini Quidditch tournaments for flying classes and she clobbered most of them shitless. People always wondered how she managed.

Glancing at Black, she allowed herself to glare at him, to loath, to let the rage take over. This was her power. Hatred. Anger. Wrath. Her fury was where all the strength came from, where the power was unleashed. Quidditch was her way of blowing off steam, channelling the energy into something useful.

Imagine the _endless_ possibilities. Ed was very quick-tempered, and so, if in a Quidditch match, it would be very much advisable to tell Ed that she was as speck of dust on the horizon, too small to be seen, and watch the fireworks begin in the game. It is very advisable indeed. That is, if you want to be kicked on the ass from Hogwarts to the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

"Right, you're up, Fletcher! Let's see what'cha got," Sirius said, to the boy who was first in line. The tryouts were simple—five tries, hit the bull's-eye thrice with a loose Bludger flying around using a bat, and you're up for elimination—which was a game of Quidditch itself. Fletcher was shaking nervously, ("Grow some balls, Fletcher!") and didn't hit the Bludger very well, missing three times in a row, before Black finally told him off. "Next!" The second one was no good either.

'_Blimey,'_ Ed thought, _'this is going to take forever.'_

Over at the bleachers, Aly and Aqua were watching intently. Though not avid fans of Quidditch, they understood enough of the game, and supported Ed throughout.

"Is it just me, or is Ed turning pale?" Aqua leaned to take a closer look.

"Aqua dear, that's because the line's getting shorter and she's getting closer to Black," Aly said grimly. "And she's not turning pale anymore, she's turning beet red with anger."

Aqua grinned. "Oh, good."

Aly tossed her a sidelong glance. "Oh? Why?"

"She's just getting warmed up, that's all."

They didn't notice, however, that while Black and Potter were on the field, the other Marauders, Lupin and Pettigrew were among the bleachers themselves.

"Oh, not him, he's a fluke," muttered Peter, more to himself than Remus.

"Peter, I'm pretty sure James and Sirius can spot the flukes themselves," Remus said, rolling his eyes. Peter kept watching, as if not hearing a word Remus had said. Peter had been muttering to himself the whole morning, talking about Quidditch. Quidditch was fairly amusing, Remus would have to admit, but it wasn't his life, not like Sirius and James, who were dedicated to the sport. Some things were just more important than a game.

He bent over his book and parchment, writing down reports for a year-long Herbology project, and he was partners with Aqua. Though there was nothing wrong with that, and it had only been two weeks since the beginning of school, Remus wanted to make a good impression. A really, really good impression. He felt a blush creep on his cheeks, and buried his nose in the parchment again.

"That was—oh damn, almost—!"

"Peter, shut up," Remus said, not taking his eyes off the parchment. "I can't concentrate."

"Oh—oh, _fuck_."

"Peter, shut UP!"

"_Fuck,_" Peter repeated. "Remus, look—"

"Peter, I said—"

"NO, LOOK!"

Remus snapped up his head, realizing that Peter had cursed, and probably only twice in his whole life. And Remus didn't think there was a perfectly good reason, until he looked where Peter was pointing at, which was at the field.

"Oh,_ fuck_," Remus said, cursing for the first time in his life, too.

"What's she doing there?"

The _she_ in question, was, in fact, Ed. Three more people down the line, and she was going to have to face Black. She looked at the other line of people, just three others who got in. They were going to play a match with the others trying out for the team. She saw the one who finished his turn being rejected, and she bit her lip. '_Two_ _more to go and I'm out of here,_' she thought. She was never really quite sure she'd make the team, and the fact that Sirius could be her partner only made her ready to turn around and forget trying.

"Sirius is either going to blow his top off, or—"

"—Hex Rochford?"

"… No. Maybe laugh maniacally and send her off?" Remus said hopefully.

They looked at each other and shook their heads sadly.

"Sorry Kent," Sirius called, drawing a finger across his throat, indicating that the person trying out hadn't made it. "Next—OH."

Ed had finally come up in the line, the last person to try out. "Oh?" She said, a little too sarcastically.

Sirius laughed loudly, causing the other three who had gotten in to look at them. "You sure you wanna do this, Rochford? I mean," he said, circling her, "You're not exactly the build for a Beater. A little too… small." The other three laughed. It was true—they were at least over a hundred and fifty-five pounds and at least five feet seven, whereas Ed barely hit five feet two, and weighed ninety-six pounds. Obviously, they had never heard the quote, "small but terrible."

Or in Ed's case, "incredibly small but kick-you-where-the-sun-won't-shine terrible."

Ed's veins popped, but she didn't unleash it on him. No, she had to put that into Quidditch. She'd smash that Bludger in Black's face, no matter what. Her jaw hardened, and her eyes burned with fury. She drew herself to her full height, which wasn't much... Sirius was at least a head-and-a-half taller. Chin up, and back rigid, she glared into his eyes. "Try me, Black."

Sirius folded his arms, smirking. He looked at her for a couple more seconds. "Fine. But don't blame me for anything," he said, throwing his arms wide. He threw her a bat, which she caught by the handle in mid-air. "Release a Bludger," he shouted, cupping his hands around his mouth. He grinned, a little too evilly, in Ed's opinion.

She took her place in front of the target. The Bludger flew high up in the sky, 'til it was barely just a speck. The three others who were trying out for Beater taunted her with, "Ooh, that's a hard one", "Can't see it, can you Rochford? Can't reach, too small!" and "It's going to crush her before she even gets to hit it…"

Aqua was grinning widely, and Aly was frowning. "Mate, I don't get it. Ed's getting pissed. Why're you smiling?"

"Aw, Al, it's like you don't know Ed at all," Aqua said. "Remember what happens when she's in her pissed off moods?"

"She miraculously gets super strength? No, seriously," Aly said, looking at Aqua.

"Just look."

Aly leaned forward to look. The Bludger came flying downwards, and Aly was _so_ sure it was going to hit Ed… but not before she hit it into the target—missed. Two inches off from bull's-eye.

Peter's jaw dropped in surprise, he and Remus had been watching intently after Ed had been up. Remus shook him. "What is it, mate?"

"She—almost—bull's-eye—" Peter choked out. Remus' eyes narrowed.

"So?"

Peter looked at Remus dumbfounded. "Are you mad, mate? _Almost_ bull's-eye for someone who's not made for Beating? And a _girl_ at that. It's practically impossible!"

Indeed, it was. None of the ones before Ed had hit it right the first time, and she _almost_ hit the bull's-eye. The three others who were in competition wore different faces—the brunette girl was looking very pissed, the Sixth year boy was staring at her in shock, and the redhead looked like he lost the lottery for the five-hundred thousandth time. Ed glanced at Sirius, whose eyebrows were suddenly knotted. If he was surprised, he was doing a great job of hiding it. He gave her a curt nod and whistled, which signalled for the next Bludger to be sent out. Ed didn't smile. It wasn't time to rejoice just yet.

Remus and Peter craned their necks, watching, their intense gazes following Ed. They held their breath, as the Bludger got released, and Ed tensed, waiting. It rocketed downward.

"Oh, Merlin," Peter breathed. Ed hit the Bludger again, but missed the bull's-eye, hitting somewhere about five inches off.

"What now?" Remus said, irritated. Peter _never_ bothered to explain. It's not as if Remus was a Quidditch genius or anything.

"She almost—oh, good—"

"She hasn't hit bull's-eye yet. So what?"

"It's good, she's going to miss this one, for sure," Peter blubbered. "Going to miss this one for sure. I'm sure of it."

Sirius whistled, signalling that another Bludger was yet released. Ed tensed up again, gripping the bat as if it were her lifeline. She swung the bat.

Aqua squealed happily. Aly stared, her mouth dropped opened.

_**Bull's-eye.**_

Ed hit the bull's-eye.

"She almost missed that one," Remus said, trying to comfort Peter. "Her hand almost slipped."

"Oh, no, no, noooo…" moaned Peter.

Remus frowned. "Wait, what's so wrong with Rochford joining the team? I mean, isn't it for Gryffindor and all?"

"What's so wrong? Remus, she's a _girl._ Girls aren't meant to be Beaters!"

"Well," Remus said, chuckling a bit, "I think you've forgotten that Ed is not a girl. In essence," he added quickly, because Peter looked like he was going to be sick.

"Still! Imagine the blows to Sirius'—"

"—pompous, supposedly untarnished image?"

"I was going for _ego._"

"Oh. Then will incredibly large, to the point where in won't fit the whole castle and will probably send him off to hell kind of ego suffice?"

"_Remus_."

"I was merely stating the absolute truth, Wormtail."

Not a single person was laughing now. All had their eyes on Ed, even the ones who were doing Chaser tryouts—even Quidditch Captain James himself. Sirius looked on, but he was rapidly turning red in the face. He whistled for another Bludger. Ed swung at it.

_**Bull's-eye.**_

Again.

Aqua burst out in triumph, and Aly was grinning. They exchanged high-fives. They had to stop and suppress their laughter because people started staring at them. Including, of course, Remus.

"Peter, be right back," Remus muttered to Peter, putting aside his books, parchment and quill.

"Yeah," Peter said, eyes glued to the field.

Remus made his way to the two, finally stealing a seat beside Aqua. "Having fun?"

Aqua looked at him, slightly alarmed. "Oh. O-oh, yeah. Ed's great." She sat up in her chair, trying to pay attention, and trying to _not_ meet Remus' eyes. Aly saw the sudden change, and became quiet. She cast a suspicious look at Aqua, who tried to shrug it off with a smile.

Sirius walked over to Ed, folding his arms and watching her. He was trying his hardest not to scowl. He nodded to her, and whistled. Ed stared into his eyes, as if she could burn him. She then turned her attention on the Bludger that was streaking downwards.

Sirius started talking to her. "Don't know how you're doing this, Rochford, but I'm not going to put you in the team. Not with me," he snarled.

She didn't listen to a single word, her eyes concentrating on the Bludger, which was coming any time now. She tensed—and swung, putting all of her might into it, bringing her body weight in the swing.

"Says who, Black?" She said, smiling triumphantly.

Sirius' face turned beet red in fury. "This is not possible," he gritted through his teeth.

_**Bull's-eye.**_

"I am not putting you in the team, Rochford," Sirius said, trying to put as much venom into his words. "Dream on."

"Well, Black—"

"Rochford!" James ran towards the two, breathless. "That was amazing! I never knew you were a Quidditch player, much less a Beater!"

Sirius rounded on James. "She's not getting in the team, James."

James looked at Sirius then at Ed. "'Course she is, mate. You're in, Rochford," he deadpanned, grinning widely, and holding out his hand. Ed raised an eyebrow, but shook it. Sirius rolled his eyes, and pulled James aside.

"Look, mate, she may be good on ground, but what if she's on air? On broom? Let's give the others a chance, why don't we?" Sirius said, slightly pleading.

"Look, Sirius," James said, looking at him in the eye. "I don't know _what_ you have against Rochford, but for Gryffindor's sake, put your biases aside, goddamnit."

"You don't know what I have against her? She humiliated me in front of the school, James! We're sworn enemies!" Sirius' voice took on a softer, lower tone. "For Gryffindor's sake, James, don't you think you're over-estimating her?"

"Alright then," James said, after a while. Sirius grinned, but the smile faded when James gripped the front of his shirt. "But if _Ed_ proves to be much more than any of them, she's in. And you have no right to deny her talent," James said, letting go of Sirius. The two glared at each other, but James broke it off when he turned to Ed with a smile.

"C'mere, Ed," he said, pulling her aside. "Y'see, Sirius is supposed to choose the Beater, and we've seen the talent you've got. Quite frankly, _I_ think you're amazing," he said. "But Sirius isn't convinced. Go kick ass for me, hm? I want _you_ on the team."

"This is because he's biased against me, right?" Ed said, folding her arms and smirking.

"Well, yes." James sighed, dramatically. "But for Gryffindor, you get? We've got to win the Cup this year."

Ed looked at him in the eye, and grinned. "I'll be on the team, James. Nothing's stopping me," she said, walking past him and Sirius, all the while smirking.

Aly and Aqua ran at breakneck speed to get to the field, and once Ed saw them, she smiled, and for the first time, the smile reached her eyes. She ran towards them, and stopped short, when Aqua came flying from the horizon and attacked her into a tight embrace. "You got in, Ed," Aqua said, gasping for breath. "I knew you would!"

"There's still elimination, Aqua," Ed protested, but Aqua let go and Aly hugged her.

"Well, you're almost there," Aly said, giving her a wink and ruffling her hair. Ed glared at her for a while, holding her head, and the three of them laughed.

"Ain't time to celebrate, Rochford," Sirius spat, shooting her a glare. "Tomorrow, James will see it's a mistake to let you in."

"Bring it on, Black," Ed challenged, folding her arms, chin up. "I ain't scared of you."

* * *

**Me: You all better thank VM for making this chapter in advance, or else you're all screwed waiting.**

**VM: *nods***

**Me: Running through the monsoon~**

**VM: Beyond the world, to the end of time, where the rain won't hurt~**

**Me: Fighting the storm, into the blue, AND WHEN I LOSE MYSELF I'LL THINK OF YOU~**

**VM: WE HAVE MADE IT A TRADITION THAT AFTER EVERY END OF A CHAPTER, WE WILL WRITE LYRICS TO A SONG!**

**Me: So if you don't like the song, well, sorr but, _suck it up!_**

**VM: Now for the German version of this song. (Note: WE ARE NOT GERMAN!)**

**Me: Ich muss durch den Monsun~**

**VM: Hinter die Welt, ans Ende der Zeit Bis kein Regen mehr fällt~**

**Me: Gegen den Sturm, am Abgrund entlang Und wenn ich nicht mehr kann, denk ich daran~~~! God, do I love this song!**

**VM: Now...well, you know the drill, REVIEW~!**


	8. Quidditch Tryouts Are Just Hell Part 2

**Me: Hello, darlings~! Sorry for this late update but, you know, school and life just had to be freaking bitches.**

**VM: Amen to that. Just fuck this whole new system they made for school. It's absolute bull crap, I tell you.**

**Me: Ignore our ramblings, it's our number one stress reliever.**

**VM: ...hey, Hani-senpai.**

**Me: Yes, dear?**

**VM: Would you like a cookie?**

**Me: OH! OF COURSE I DO!**

**VM: Good, 'cause I want a cookie, too.**

**Me: ...**

**VM: ...**

**Me: ...**

**VM: ...**

**Me: _Ooo_-kay. Let's forget that ever happened, shall we?**

**VM: You're mean...**

**Me: FANFIC, START!**

* * *

"You're going down, Rochford."

"Not if I knock you out first, Black."

"Will you two bloody shut your trap? I don't need you fighting on the field!" James Potter fumed, turning on his heel and snapping at the two who had been fighting since morning. This wasn't normally how they fought, of course. Usually Ed would be cussing Sirius out, calling him every single name she could think of, and Sirius would be yelling back. No, the two kept bickering, albeit loudly (but a whole lot quieter than the usual yelling) on their way to the Quidditch pitch, and frankly, James didn't see how they never get tired of it.

The said two did shut the hell up, but didn't stop glaring at each other. James sighed; they'll never get over it.

"Okay. I want a good, clean game of Quidditch. Coach Burwell has agreed to oversee our match. We do this without Seekers, okay? Sirius and I will play Keepers. One beater for each team, so that we get to see you individually. You there," he said, pointing to the six Chasers he found yesterday. He began separating them into two teams. Sirius turned to the four Beaters; Ed, Christina Morgan, Javed Reynolds, and Bilius Weasley.

"Bill and Javed, you're up first," Sirius said, nodding to the two, and clapping Reynolds on the back. Clearly, _he_ was Sirius's choice for the team.

"Rochford," Sirius spat viciously, "and Chris, you're next." Ed would've glared back, but instead settled on giving him the sweetest smile she could manage. Christina—Chris, as she was commonly called, smiled somewhat seductively back at Sirius, who gave her a '_hey-you're-looking-good-babe'_ kind of smile. Ed rolled her eyes, and made a noise, which made Sirius abruptly tore his eyes from Christina's chest.

Morgan glared at her and walked away, hips swinging. Ed had the sudden fantasy of her falling off her broom and splitting her head open…but alas, such dreams were made to be trampled on.

"Was that your slag-for-hire, Black?"

"Jealous much, Rochford?"

Ed nearly choked on the spot. "MERLIN, NO." She wrinkled her nose, walking past him and Christina, huffing angrily. "Motherfucking son of a bitchin' assfucking hole..." Chris shot her a look as she passed, and Ed gave her the finger. Chris' mouth dropped open, looking greatly offended.

"Ed!" Ed turned around to see Sirius, turning purple in the face. But it wasn't Sirius who called her attention. No, it was someone else.

"Ed," James said, walking up to her. "C'mere," he said, glancing at Sirius, and narrowing his eyes. He put an arm around her, but she shrugged it off.

"Now what… _Potter_?"

"My _name_, if you would bloody remember, is James."

Ed scoffed. He was a Marauder. Her ego went down the drain if she addressed a Marauder by his freaking name. No, not just her ego. Everything that she was—a defiance to the Marauders. She folded her arms and glared at him.

"Ed, I'm on your side," James said angrily, in the lowest voice he could manage. "Now listen. I want _you_ on the team. No one else. Sirius is being blind to your talents just because he doesn't want to work with you. For Merlin's sake, I don't give a _damn_ what you bastards have against each other, but don't bring it to Quidditch. This is all for Gryffindor, Ed," he said, opening his arms wide, to indicate every single person who was trying out. He leaned close and whispered in her ear. "Besides, you get to clobber Sirius during practice," he said, grinning as he pulled away. "Think about it."

Ed hissed. "Fine. I'll do this for Gryffindor… and for my love of Quidditch. But not for you, and most certainly not for Black." She turned on her heel, and walked away.

James ran a hand through his hair. Goddamn, if Sirius and Ed didn't get over their differences, they'll be having problems in Quidditch. And ultimately, they wouldn't win the cup.

"Damnit," muttered James. "Alright! Let's get in the air!"

Everyone shuffled. The first half who were playing stayed, while Ed and the others headed off to the bleachers. Chris must've been going after Sirius, because she kept trying to trip Ed, who successfully dodged or stomped on Christina's foot. The two were practically going to kill each other.

"Mount your brooms! Quickly now!" yelled Coach Burwell, a woman in her forties, and hair tied back in a ponytail. She had served as the Quidditch referee and flying classes coach since she was twenty-two. She put the whistle to her mouth. "Game begins in 3... 2... 1... GO!"

Hearing the whistle, all brooms shot up in the air.

The game has begun.

* * *

It seemed like hours before James finally called for a time out, when it only had really been twenty minutes. "Alright," he yelled, trying to get the attention of everyone else. Successfully, of course, since everyone stopped in their tracks, while others came closer to hear better. "Go get a break, Reynolds, Weasley. I want Ed and Morgan in the air."

Sirius was furious, face turning red quickly, but one glance at James' patronizing glare told him he could do nothing more. James was the Captain. He was just the best mate.

Ed winced as James addressed her by first name. They were on first-name terms now? Bloody hell. She tightened the leather gloves she wore that day. They helped her grip the bat better, and they were Muggle-made, and a nice onyx. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Christina Morgan trying to kill her with the deadliest of looks, all of which Ed knew she could top with her own cold glare. That girl needed death glare lessons pronto.

Ed tightened the combat boots she wore almost every day now, and stood up, grabbing her broom, heading straight for the pitch. She could hear hissing sounds emanating from Chris' throat, and she grimaced as images of slitting that very throat flashed again and again in her head. She let out a low growl, and Chris only seemed to hiss more. Ed decided to ignore her.

"Players! Mount your brooms, now!" James shouted, snapping Ed out off her sadistic mind-set.

She quickly obeyed the instruction given—not because Potter, hell no, but really because she saw Coach Burwell was all set and ready to release the ball that would most probably decide their everlasting fate for Quidditch this year (but you know, no pressure…_at all_).

Burwell threw the Quaffle. It rose up in the air—higher, higher—it transfixed the students in a mesmerizing way.

It was then that all hell broke loose.

Ten brooms shot through the air, Chasers racing for the Quaffle, the Beaters—Ed and Morgan—fighting the hyperactive Bludgers, and the two Seekers flying above them all, looking for that little golden ball that just might win them a spot in the team.

One of her team's Chasers got to the ball first; he quickly made a beeline for the hoops, successfully avoiding the Quaffle being stolen away from him and/or getting pummelled brutally to the ground.

He tossed it—closer and closer it got that Ed nearly whooped for joy (they were getting the first points!). It was practically across the damn hoop now…

Until, of course, Fate just had to screw with Ed's life—_again_.

Black blocked the Quaffle at the very last minute, rendering the other team's chance of winning points. He shot a smug look to a fuming Ed and swiftly turned his back on her.

Ed wanted to scream, to fucking yell her head off at that obnoxious man-whore, but she had no time. From what she could see in her line of vision, a Bludger was coming straight towards her, courtesy of one Christina bitch-face Morgan. She concentrated all her hatred of this hell week, the hatred she was currently feeling for Black and Potter, and her eternal hatred of Morgan, and expressed it all by the swing of her bat at the Bludger. It went soaring high.

To Ed, it was pretty much all a blur after that. She had been much too excited, much too immersed in the euphoria of the game to diligently take in details of the game.

All she knew was one goal: to keep those fucking caffeine induced Bludgers from hitting her or her team-mates…and to guide it to the direction of Morgan and Black's faces every possible moment.

Suffice to say, it was a very dangerous and life threatening match. _Very_ dangerous, indeed.

Eventually though, before Ed had even come to realize, their match was over.

'_Holy shit,'_ she thought, _'since when did time move that fast? I don't even know who was freaking winning!'_

With a feeling of dread dropping down on her stomach, she glanced at the score board…and blinked. Ed blinked once again. The score was now two hundred ten to one hundred eighty points—with them in the lead. It seems that their Seeker was very much capable after all.

With the weight in her stomach gone, Ed was filled with a giddy sense of happiness—or, at least, as much giddiness one pessimistic midget can have—and quickly joined where her team was holding a mini celebration on the ground.

* * *

Sirius was not having a good time. Not a good time at all.

First he had to spend the entire day with Rochford: seeing her annoying face and hearing her mother effing horrible voice. Had to play a whole Quidditch game with her. Had to mother fucking _lose_ that said Qudditch game to her.

It was really so fucking annoying that he wanted to bash his head to the nearest hard surface he encounters.

The smug look on James' face did nothing to help his current predicament.

Oh, Sirius knew this was inevitable. When James wanted something for the Quidditch team, he certainly went out of his way to see that through. After all, "the captain always knows what's for the best." And right now, James wanted nothing more for Ed to be Sirius' fellow Beater for the team.

Bull shit.

Sirius groaned aloud as he envisioned what's it's gonna be like for the next hour or so.

James would announce the people who got in this year's team—one of them would no doubt be Rochford. Said midget will give him a gloating look before she would realize that she had to be partnered with the Sirius Black (in which he would enjoy a small moment of victory), and this day would probably end with the two of them screaming at each other until they turn blue.

_Joy_.

Just add that to the list of reasons why he was having such a good, _good_ time.

As he predicted, James conjured a pedestal and stepped on top of it, managing to make himself look important even with the sweat-drenched robes he wore.

"And now," he announced dramatically, "for the brave and selected Gryffindors who made it in the team!"

James glanced at the eager faces of each Quidditch hopeful and felt a sadistic smile slither its way to his lips. God, how he loved to be Captain. "First for the Keeper…we have…Caleigh Magne!"

Sirius glanced at the crowd and found a sixth year, blond haired and, blue eyed boy that he remembered as Magne (he only remembered 'cause that kid was one hell of a Quidditch player). Said Keeper was stared impassively at James, as if it wasn't _that_ important to be in the best bloody House team there is—according to Sirius' opinion, anyway.

"Next up, the two Chasers that will have the honor of playing along-side me for the whole year…Milos Brewer and Damon Deraux!"

Sirius snorted at that last name. He knew that girly name all too well. It belonged to that fifth year bastard who steals the pretty girls away. Although, Sirius would be the first to admit that he was much better—and not to mention, more _experienced_—in the art of being a ladies man.

Nevertheless, he glared at the dark curly brown hair and lightly tanned face of the Chaser.

"Welcoming the new Seeker: Vincent Thanatos!" James bellowed again, snapping Sirius out of his hate fest.

He distractedly noticed Deraux slapping the back of a boy with incredible pale skin and his long black hair tied to a high ponytail. Best friends? Hmmm, he supposed so. Sirius also noted the fact that the boy was very handsome, but he still couldn't hold a candle to Sirius in the category of good looks.

"And lastly, the Beater that would join our dear Sirius Black here, Edelwynn Rochford!"

Sirius groaned. Hell was just about to begin for him, and he knew it.

* * *

**Me: Aaaaaaaaaaaand as promised, here's the song for this chapter!**

**VM: Perfect by nature, icons of self indulgence~**

**Me: Just what we all need, more lies about a world that...**

**VM: NEVER WAS AND NEVER WILL BE~~~!**

**Me: HAVE YOU NOW SHAME? DON'T YOU SEE ME~~~!**

**VM: YOU KNOW YOU'VE GOT EVERYBODY FOOLED~~~!**

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